Why We Behave The Way We Do? Acceptable Social Behavior.

Some people think the rules don't apply to them. Our behavior matters.

We stand out when we don’t conform.

A loan shark lends out money at high interest. The payee accepts the payment terms due to the desperate nature of his circumstances. When the agreement is not met, the stand over man who is in the business of collecting money by any means possible will come knocking. In most circumstances this is not acceptable social behavior.

When the tough guy is around his mother, grandparents or other family members, a different behavior is necessary. It would not be acceptable to behave in the same manner he does whilst at work.

This highlights that we behave according to the environment we are surrounded by. When the setting changes so does our conduct. We adapt to the social situation in order to fit in.

We learn cultural norms, rules and patterns of acceptable and non-acceptable behavior that dictate how we operate within society and various groups to which we belong.  (Training in Australia – M.D Tovey & D. Lawlor P. 55).

We are comfortable with social etiquette as it is an indicator that everything is under control. It is a standard of behaviour that creates a safe and protected environment.

Social norms are what keep society functioning. Whether we are aware of it or not we embrace these unsaid rules of behavior.

Social norms are what keep society functioning. Whether we are aware of it or not we embrace these unsaid rules. @thedigger0 Share on X

Why do we have social norms?

When people operate outside of these social norms our comfort zones are disturbed and this alerts us that trouble could be on its way. This may insult our sensors with disgust, fascination, relief, make us feel uncomfortable or even scared. Regardless of how we feel we become watchful and cautious over something that does not fit in with what is socially acceptable.

People stand out when their behavior is not in accordance with social standards.

When someone starts yelling in public it captures our attention.

We visit restaurants to enjoy a meal and the company of others. We do not dine out to be annoyed or disturbed by children that have been allowed to run wild. This directs our attention to the parents.  Who should be controlling their childs behavior in a social situation.

When someone cry’s in public it is noticeable. It is rare we see this emotion displayed openly. However tears at a funeral are more than acceptable.

We don’t fart in public without feeling a little self-conscious. This noise and smell receives many different reactions. Examples are giggles, embarrassment or disgust.  Yet most of the time we pretend it did not happen. How odd as research highlights every one of us perform this natural explosion up to at least 14 times a day.

When you hear a child chucking a tantrum, it is hard to ignore. It generally causes us to watch for a second or two and think about the situation. However if the child carriers on for too long we can’t wait to distance ourselves from such a disruption.

You and seven others are invited to a dinner party. You know all of these people except for one. When dinner is served, everyone begins to eat their meal with their knives and forks.  However that person you just met starts consuming the meal with their hands. What would be your impression of this person?

Waiting to be served at a bank, in a grocery store or to order food; we stand behind one another. It is logical to do this. When someone attempts to jump the line and demands immediate service, those who have waited patiently may respond negatively.

Social control to enforce acceptable social behaviors.

CCTV’s are an example of social control. Surveillance has become an acceptable way of life. There is comfort knowing those who are not conforming will be monitored and recorded for not following the rules.

However it is a disturbing realization that it is necessary for these devices to be a part of society due to the rise in anti-social behavior.

Some social customs frighten us.

They say if a woman is attached in the streets she has more hope of receiving assistance by yelling fire than screaming for help. Most people don’t like to be involved when the norm is broken. Because the outcome is unpredictable. But fire has the potential of affecting a number of people so action is likely to happen.

When we see someone talking to themselves (especially out loud), we continue on our way, but we do make a mental note that something is not right with them. However since hands free phones have been developed we see a lot more people talking to themselves and feel relief when we see they have an ear piece attached to their phone.

People hanging out in the street. The atmosphere changes when two gangs arrive in the vicinity. This alerts those friends and associates that trouble is on its way and it may only a matter of time before things start to get dirty and nasty.

Members of bikie gangs have their own in house rules. Not following these can cause harm or death. Some gang affiliates are required to steal, rape or beat up people to be initiated. It is very troubling and scary that those who are not involved with such gangs are bound to be impacted by this process. 

There is social etiquette everywhere. When you step outside of this, people may lose trust or steer clear of you. When you are known as unpredictable, you unbalance social norms.

Unhealthy social norms.

Some social norms need to be questioned rather than obeyed. Not all behavior should be followed.

Some social norms need to be questioned rather than obeyed.

When we are sick it is now acceptable to run to the medicine cabinet and reach for a pharmaceutical remedy. This has become an automatic reaction, rather than raising questions as why the pain or illness has occurred.

Advertising further instills these thoughts and behaviours as acceptable with their expensive campaigns, teaching us that it is normal to take tablets. Creating a fortune for companies in this line of business. Although not necessarily good for our health.

I never once worried about loss of income or funeral insurance. I am a fit and healthy woman who does not think in these terms. However with an increase in advertising, it has me thinking otherwise.

Rules are made from injury.

Rules are implemented because of accidents causing pain, injury or death. Occupational Health and Safety procedures and practices are in operation to ensure the safety of all.

The occurrence of a mistake or disaster highlights areas where adjustments to rules and regulations are required to ensure everyone is free of danger.

Abuse of the rules.

Social norms are also taken advantage off. The speed camera, was put in place to deter speeding and now it is a much abused revenue raiser. However if you are not speeding it will not affect you, unless these machines are inaccurate.

Social control is sensible.

When traffic lights turn red this is a universal sign to stop. The likelihood of a collision is imminent if we do not obey this rule. Cars are not cheap and it is against the law to run a red light. So adhering to this rule is beneficial for a number of reasons.

We don’t want to be involved in an accident because that will delay the arrival to our destination. Being without a car will inconvenience us. Breaking the law creates time delays and can become expensive with lawyers and fines.

Insurance companies will assess your car and the circumstances surrounding the incident to evaluate if your claim is within your insurance policy guidelines. In this one instance there are many reasons why it is wise to follow traffic rules.

Even blogging has social etiquette.

There are behaviors and actions we take in order to become influential bloggers. There are many posts written on the procedures. When new bloggers arrives on the scene they locate the communities to suit their niche. Learning the ropes and following the right procedures is essential to making impact in their area of expertise.

Whether we aware of it or not, we are comfortable conforming to socially acceptable standards. Because it is safe and predictable. We become alert and stand to attention when anti-social behavior is present.

It’s wise to be conscious of your actions, not all social norms are for the greater good, but for greedy capitalist.We behave with etiquette because majority of the time it makes sense and is logical. But never act or do because it is socially acceptable always question your actions and you won’t be steered wrong.

It's wise to be conscious of your actions, not all social norms are for the greater good, but for greedy capitalist. @thedigger0 Share on X

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Posted in Behaviour, Change, Self Development and tagged , , , , , , , , .

14 Comments

  1. An interesting article Rachel.

    Certain social norms are there to protect us from so many things, especially being a victim of crime, illness and worse case scenario is death, like the red light example you gave.

    But I feel there are some norms that don’t benefit everyone, for example, I know many people that have got to university and can not get a job in their chosen field.

    Obtaining a good education at a good university is a social norm and it doesn’t necessarily benefit everyone.

    The list could go on and on.

    We could definitely start an interesting debate here.

    Thanks

    Nathan
    Nathan recently posted…A Newbies Guide To Building ConfidenceMy Profile

    • Hey Nathan,

      Glad to see you here.

      I agree with your university issue. Years ago getting a job was an easy process now it is like you have to jump threw many hoops just to get to the interview.

      It has changed the way people live, especially young people. It is a big issue for me too. Especially if we want young people to do well in the future because they are our future.

      Yes the list does go on, but I the points I wanted to make are clear, other wise the document could have turned into a book. Thanks for your comments Nathan, you raised a very valid point.

      Talk soon.

      Rachel.

  2. Rachel,

    This is such a fabulous article. If we analyze the world as a whole, it could definitely use a social behavior boost in my opinion. The blogging world is a tough one. Many follow social etiquette rules and those are the sites I like to frequent. Then there are those who don’t and when you visit, you may feel shunned by the author. There are quite a few bloggers that I have in mind that really need to read this.

    Thank you.

    B
    Brenda Lee recently posted…How to Remove “Failure” from Your VocabularyMy Profile

    • Hey Brenda

      Welcome and thanks for your comments.

      I so agree with the world doing with social behaviour good make over and boost.

      I am like you social etiquette when blogging is a great rule and I like to get out and read as many posts as I can. It is a great way of learning and connecting.

      At first I was a little disappointed when people didn’t respond to my comments, but I guess that is the nature of the beast. So now I do it without having any attachment to it. If I get a response good if I don’t I get on with it anyway. However I am not inclined to go back too many times because there is no relationship to build on and you can’t reach out and connect. I love a good chat.

      But there are a good few of us that not only write brilliant post are so exciting to chat with, I would not be anything other than a blogger. Talk soon.

      Rachel.

  3. Hi Rachel
    This post shows you have deep observation powers. Every example highlights your sensory skills to grasp the minute differences.

    Social behavior is a very complex topic. Though, I love reading articles related to human behavior, I am always baffled by the human behavior. We can’t judge the person by the outer appearance. Looks can be deceptive. We don’t know about the thinking mechanism. We do all those things which look right to us. To others, it may seem completely absurd and illogical.

    Thanks for coming up with this article. Lots of love, buddy
    Yatin Khulbe recently posted…Be careful of these 8 Common Myths Before Starting Your Dream BusinessMy Profile

    • Hey Yatin,

      Welcome back, you never cease to amaze me with your insight. I am thrilled to have met you in the blogging arena.

      I agree social behaviour is a complex topic, we pick up on social triggers. Lots of signs gives us information about others. Take for example what people are wearing. If you go to a gym in you suit and start using the machines you stand out. However if you are at a formal and everyone is dressed elegantly but behaving loudly they create attention. We know when people are not happy with us by some body language and especially their tone of voice. But when you put all that together environment, voice, dress and body language and use stereo typical categories, we really do see more than we actually give ourselves credit for.

      And we do make these assumptions whether we are aware of it or not. Talk soon.

      Rachel.

  4. Hey Rachel,

    You came with another great topic about social norms and social behaviours. The way you have mentioned each and every points of social behaviours it shows that how much research & obesrvation you have done before start writing on this topic.

    Thanks for sharing informative content here. Stay in touch

    • Hey Anant,

      Welcome back, always a delight to see you here.

      The research is over the last 20 years. I love human behaviour and how we interact among one another, I have a passion for it. And behaviour becomes very obvious when people don’t behave accordingly in the environment we are in. Thank you for your feedback it is always enjoyable. Talk soon.

      Rachel.

  5. Hi Rachel,

    It means you have write this post from your personal experience. It sounds good!! Keep writing post like this.

    Thanks

    • Hey Anant,

      Yeah I have a photographic memory for behaviour. I can’t remember names and places I go, but I can break down a hand action in my mind second by second and miss nothing. I can remember a conversation near word for word but wont remember your name but will remember all your details. Thanks for the feedback. I will be checking out your site soon, you know I enjoy your posts, but I have been working hard at speeding my blog up so I have to put things behind – that is why I have not visited your blog for a couple of days. Talk soon.

      Rachel.

  6. Hi Rachel,

    Social norms are truly everywhere. Just that most people don’t notice them to be such. They look at you like you’re the weird one if you do the things you have described.

    No one ever thinks to challenge them because its much easier to stand in line than to stand out. Being the black sheep isn’t ideal. It takes a certain type of person.

    Some social norms seem appropriate while others are questionable. You would definitely have to look at each. But it is all worth a look.

    ~Lea

    • Hey Lea,

      Good seeing you.

      Social Norms are a good indicator of people behaving. I say break the norms when there is good reason, I say stand out in the crowd when you have something to offer. I am saying be loud and proud, but the examples I offer and not reasons to want to stand out in the crowd.

      I agree some social norms are questionable and we should only do them because we have consciously made a choice to do so. We should never just do something because it is done – there is no excuse when things go wrong because you still have to be accountable for your own actions. So when you act you should ensure that you are acting with a motivation that backs your logic. Thanks for the chat.

      Talk soon.

      Rachel.

  7. Hey Rachel, good post on social norms! I love the way you encourage us to become aware of these norms and which we follow and for what reason. It is a wonderful topic to bring to the attention of readers 🙂

    Jenn

    • Hey Jenn,

      Good to see you here at my blog again.

      Thanks for your feedback. Social norms are essential because they provide us with a safety net to communicate and get along. When people don’t follow these norms they stand out. Talk soon.

      Rachel.

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