“We need to talk.” We’re on guard as soon as we hear these words. In some circumstances we know what conversation will follow.
We mentally go back in history when we have no idea what’s coming. In a hurry to locate the cause for such a statement. Bracing ourselves. Generally going into survival mode.
This declaration tells us something is up. A person we respect is attempting to open up dialogue. Wanting to address an important issue.
These words don’t come from strangers. They come from people we love. Our partners, friends or family members. It’s a daunting sentence yet it should make us curious.
When possible we should stop what we’re doing and give them our full attention. Rather than be on the defence before the conversation has begun.
The “We need to talk”, preparation.
It’s not about winning. It’s about fixing a problem. You’re emotionally attached to this person.
Aware of the individual’s temperament. You know before you begin how they may respond.
Behaviours to prepare for: –
- Anger.
- Is this person an interrupter? Talking over you.
- Will they be defensive?
- Become teary.
- Present a feisty attitude?
- Are they likely to become nasty or sarcastic?
In all the above instances try to remain calm. Don’t jump into their drama. Having your say is only one half of the conversation.