Have you ever felt hurt or defeated by that person who you were so charmed by but they ended up being a fraud. You listened closely and absorbed everything they said and did.
In fact, due to the information you gathered about them, they were your new best friend and boy were they fun. To find out down the track they were a sham. Nothing that came out of their mouth was the truth, everything they did was opposite to what they had to say.
Now you know better and you feel like crap. But should you? You can’t be responsible for the actions of others. How they represented themselves has absolutely nothing to do with you. How could it? You just met them.
Of course you want to believe people at face value. Why should you be questioning someone else’s motives? If you are evaluating whether a person is the ‘real deal’ then you are giving them too much time. But it also indicates that something does not add up and you don’t trust them.
Sure we’re going to be affected by people who lie with a smile on their face. But they damage their own reputation and credibility. It’s not your load to deal with. We have enough friends that give us what we need. We reach out for new connections because we are social beings.