Introducing my brain crew.

Let me introduce you to my brain crew. ‘The Girl & The Professor’.

Have you ever wondered why some choices are hard to make?  Others are, as clear as fresh running water from a river.  At times it feels as if the brain prefers confusion rather than certainty.

What about when you want to begin something new?  There are several reasons to go ahead and countless excuses not to start at all.  Leaving us frustrated by indecision.

Do you know how your brain works?  Have you ever stopped to listen?  To find out what goes on in there?

I have two main characters residing in my mind.  Both generally hold opposing views.  One representing the right part of the brain.  The emotional side.  I call her ‘The Girl’.

The Professor’ who takes up the left hemisphere forming the logical side.  The rationale area of the mind is not in charge.  Although it does take control when the passionate side gets out of hand.

Two completely different personalities talking, debating, arguing and on the rare occasion working together.

Once I identified these decision makers, my life became a little easier to navigate.

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How Do You Respond To – “We Need To Talk”?

“We need to talk.”  We’re on guard as soon as we hear these words.  In some circumstances we know what conversation will follow.

We mentally go back in history when we have no idea what’s coming.  In a hurry to locate the cause for such a statement.  Bracing ourselves.  Generally going into survival mode.

This declaration tells us something is up.  A person we respect is attempting to open up dialogue.  Wanting to address an important issue.

These words don’t come from strangers.  They come from people we love.  Our partners, friends or family members.  It’s a daunting sentence yet it should make us curious.

When possible we should stop what we’re doing and give them our full attention.  Rather than be on the defence before the conversation has begun.

The “We need to talk”, preparation. 

It’s not about winning.  It’s about fixing a problem.  You’re emotionally attached to this person.

Aware of the individual’s temperament.  You know before you begin how they may respond.

Behaviours to prepare for: –

  • Anger.
  • Is this person an interrupter? Talking over you.
  • Will they be defensive?
  • Become teary.
  • Present a feisty attitude?
  • Are they likely to become nasty or sarcastic?

In all the above instances try to remain calm.  Don’t jump into their drama.  Having your say is only one half of the conversation.

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How to Pitch A Strong Opinion Without Losing the Message.

Strong Opinion

Have you ever listened to a speaker deliver a message where you hold onto their every word?  It’s a spectacular scene to behold.  Its that strong opinion that sparked passion.

Every part of their voice and gestures show commitment to the subject.  Creating discussions where everyone’s hooked.  There are many for and against.  The whole group are under no illusion, it’s the subject that’s under attack.  Disagreement stirs the conversation.

The message is lost when: –

  • It becomes personal.
  • It’s about one person’s point of view. Every other opinion is dismissed.
  • Individuals are being talked over.
  • The main objective is to win an argument rather than debate it.

A crowd will leave the talk with what stood out the most.  The subject is no longer the talking point.  The behaviour has people shaking their heads in dismay.

Problems arise when one falls deaf to views that aren’t in line with their own.  Behaving as if their beliefs are the only ones that matter.      

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