Easter Time, Chocolate Treats and the Child Negotiator

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It’s that time of the year again. Chocolate treats are everywhere. Retail shops start pushing Easter not long after the Christmas decorations come down.

Lucky we know a little about the psychology of marketing. Otherwise we may suspect that Cadbury do a secret deal with children.

All the pretty coloured wrappers shining and teasing the kids. Shopping is hard enough without the Easter promotion. The youngsters eyes light up when they see the gold bunny or their favourite characters plastered all over the chocolate treats.

Babies reaching out from the trolley in an attempt to grab at the sparkling colours. Three year olds put on their thinking caps. Wondering how they’re going to get their mommy to buy them chocolates. The five year old coming straight out with it. Asking for sugar treats. Not accepting no as an answer.Continue reading→

Let me introduce you to my brain crew. ‘The Girl & The Professor’.

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Have you ever wondered why some choices are hard to make? Others are, as clear as fresh running water from a river. At times it feels as if the brain prefers confusion rather than certainty.

What about when you want to begin something new? There are several reasons to go ahead and countless excuses not to start at all. Leaving us frustrated by indecision.

Do you know how your brain works? Have you ever stopped to listen? To find out what goes on in there?

I have two main characters residing in my mind. Both generally hold opposing views. One representing the right part of the brain. The emotional side. I call her ‘The Girl’.

‘The Professor’ who takes up the left hemisphere forming the logical side. The rationale area of the mind is not in charge. Although it does take control when the passionate side gets out of hand.

Two completely different personalities talking, debating, arguing and on the rare occasion working together.

Once I identified these decision makers, my life became a little easier to navigate.

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He says beer, she says shoes. The compromise in a relationship.

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The word compromise gets tossed around lightly. Talked about as if it’s the easiest thing in the world to come to terms with.

Having a standard and lowering it to meet in the middle. These discussions are about adjusting your expectations.

At times theory and reality walk parallel to one another. It’s tough work negotiating. Looking for a win-win situation.

Disagreeing is essential to your own well-being. Especially if you won’t be able to live with the terms discussed. Regardless of how uncomfortable sharing this information can be.

New beginnings.

A recently committed couple discuss future plans. Mortgage, marriage and children. Taking the relationship to the next level. There’s enthusiasm being caught up in these talks. At the time it sounds good and feels right.

Hours after the discussion irritation starts to build. One party isn’t sure anymore. It has begun to feel more like an obligation rather than embracing what seemed like logical steps forward.

It’s obvious that’s what partners do. Yet internally there’s an uneasy feeling rising within, demanding attention. Now these talks feel rushed. Maybe it’s was too soon to be making such plans.

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How to Pitch A Strong Opinion Without Losing the Message.

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Have you ever listened to a speaker deliver a message where you hold onto their every word? It’s a spectacular scene to behold. Its that strong opinion that sparked passion.

Every part of their voice and gestures show commitment to the subject. Creating discussions where everyone’s hooked. There are many for and against. The whole group are under no illusion, it’s the subject that’s under attack. Disagreement stirs the conversation.

The message is lost when: –

It becomes personal.
It’s about one person’s point of view. Every other opinion is dismissed.
Individuals are being talked over.
The main objective is to win an argument rather than debate it.

A crowd will leave the talk with what stood out the most. The subject is no longer the talking point. The behaviour has people shaking their heads in dismay.

Problems arise when one falls deaf to views that aren’t in line with their own. Behaving as if their beliefs are the only ones that matter.

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It’s Time To Examine Ourselves When We React Whilst Communicating.

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It’s time to examine your emotions if you are feeling like this.

Creative people work towards having their master pieces viewed by an audience. With the intention of being informative or thought provoking. Generating emotions such as passion, anger, happiness and sadness or even sparking a fire. They want us to react. You may appreciate their work. It may bring up a fond or horrid memory from the past. If an artist has stirred something within you they get to take a bow.

Should we hold the same gratitude toward people who offend, insult or make us defensive? It’s not art when an individual rouses such deep feelings within us. However we could be thanking them in the long run for pointing out an area in ourselves that requires examination.

Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts. – Buddha

As humans we react so fast. One minute we are sitting around having a casual conversation, the next, voices are raised and a disagreement has erupted. When communication creates such disturbances, we can see this as an opportunity for growth.

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Are You the Reason Your Relationship is Over?

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Does the heart weigh more when we are in love? It feels so full of happiness that we think it may explode. Radiating like a neon light. When our relationships are going well they have the power to lift us up, give us a leap in our walk, the sky seems bluer and life a mystical magical journey.

However, other times our relationships seem like nothing more than hard-work and we would rather criticise, abuse or avoid the other person rather than address the core issues.

The committed relationship.

Believe it or no; you struck a deal with your partner when you committed to each other. Back in the day when verbal agreements and a hand shake were as good as signing your name to a contract, the deal was sealed.

When both parties make this promise; they offer to share their most valuable assets: – their heart and mind. You have decided to become partners in crime. Sharing these cherished yet vulnerable commodities is not only saying, ‘I love you’, but ‘I trust you with everything I have’.

A union of this magnitude has the power to make you rise above the trivial and make you see the world in a rainbow of colors. It’s a big responsibility and one that should not be taken lightly, ever!

Because this joint venture also has the power to mentally reduce you to nothing, finding it hard to breath and fight another day. You try to remember when this relationship started to become difficult, doing nothing more than decreasing your energy levels with negativity. Wondering if you can ever come back from it.

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Communication Styles You Don’t Want To Be Good At.

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We all know of a radio shock jock or a TV personality that is notorious for their obnoxious or confrontational outbursts. Some people are hired for this specific reason.

Imagine being offered a job because your known as a loud mouth. You have a reputation for making people defensive. You’re recognized as antagoniser. This identifies you as not having a communication filter.

Two schools of thought.

When an individual communicates without diplomacy it appears as if they don’t care about what others think of them. However, this very action highlights they don’t put themselves first.

When we respect ourselves; we are mindful about how we send out our verbal messages. We don’t need to be liked, we are not asking for acceptance or approval. We are saying – “I value who I am”. The consideration of others is not a sign of weakness. It’s a leadership quality, encouraging open dialogue.

The consideration of others is not a sign of weakness. It's a leadership quality, encouraging open dialogue. @thedigger0 Share on X

The type of communicator you are highlights what you feel about yourself, not what you feel about others. We understand this because we can only be responsible for our own words and actions.

What are we saying about ourselves if we feel the need to floor someone with unkind words or by teasing them (some refer to this as roasting) in front of others? To blurt out whatever comes to mind in an emotionally charged situation is not power, but lack of self-restraint.

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