Positive and Negative Reinforcement Create Patterned Behaviour.

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Have you ever met someone who tells a story, yet you feel they are not sharing the truth? It makes you feel a little cheated. Disappointed in them. If they’ve fibbed once you may wonder how many others times they’ve done the same thing. Lying is a learned patterned behaviour.

It differs from those who embellish their version of events. Wanting to spice up their tales keeping it interesting for the audience.

A perpetual liar requires the memory of an elephant. Having to remain alert at all times. Constantly watching what is flowing from their mouth.

One lie leads to another. If they don’t remain on top of it, they will be found out. Losing all creditability.

The process of patterned behaviour.

Say for instance, a parent is in the habit of bullying their child. The young person had to think on their toes otherwise they would be unfairly punished.

After a while the child masters the skill of lying. Sneaky and sly are a part of their forte. Becoming an expert at telling people what they want to hear.

It’s not a natural instinct. It became a part of a survival process the child had to inhabit to get around a powerful adult.

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How Do You Steer the Dreamer, Complainer and Excuse Giver?

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We all have that friend or relative that continues to talk about the same thing, over and over. They either complain, make excuses or share their dreams. Nothing ever changes but they repeat themselves like it’s a whole new scenario.

Of course they have wonderful traits. Yet the main characteristic that sticks out is the one that keeps you at a distance. It’s asking too much to have to bare another round of what you have heard so many times before. You near cringe when you have to spend time with them.

How do you steer the dreamer, complainer and excuse giver?

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Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Would.

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Have you ever felt hurt or defeated by that person who you were so charmed by but they ended up being a fraud. You listened closely and absorbed everything they said and did.

In fact, due to the information you gathered about them, they were your new best friend and boy were they fun. To find out down the track they were a sham. Nothing that came out of their mouth was the truth, everything they did was opposite to what they had to say.

Now you know better and you feel like crap. But should you? You can’t be responsible for the actions of others. How they represented themselves has absolutely nothing to do with you. How could it? You just met them.

Of course you want to believe people at face value. Why should you be questioning someone else’s motives? If you are evaluating whether a person is the ‘real deal’ then you are giving them too much time. But it also indicates that something does not add up and you don’t trust them.

Sure we’re going to be affected by people who lie with a smile on their face. But they damage their own reputation and credibility. It’s not your load to deal with. We have enough friends that give us what we need. We reach out for new connections because we are social beings.

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Our Behaviour Requires Different Hats.

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We wear a different hat in each environment we circulate.

Did you know you’re a fashionista in your own right? Don’t sound so surprised. Were you aware you have a collection of hats?

Do I hear you say you don’t wear hats? Well I am inclined to disagree. Let me explain.

How many environments do you circulate in? There is home, extended family, friends, school or work. Then there are the hobbies we partake in and enjoy.

Would you agree that your behaviour differs when you are with family as opposed to with friends?

You don’t perform in the work place with the same mannerisms you would your mates. There are similarities but our attitudes are somewhat different.

When we are at home with our family we are able to relax and behave in accordance to the moods we feel. We have ourselves on display. The good, the bad and the ugly. We have grown up with these people and they have seen us in all our glory and at our worst.

Then we have the work hat. Our temperament and behaviour are very different to the hat we wear at home. We don’t slouch over the lounge, surfing TV channels yelling, “Mar, when is dinner going to be ready?” We present with an approachable professional attitude.

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Reprogramming The Mind Is As Easy As A Carrot a Day.

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Bugs Bunny is not the only one who loves carrots.

There is nothing relaxing about being stuck in a rut. In such times we struggle and overindulgence in activities to compensate for what is lacking in our lives. Watching too much television, over eating, gambling, abuse of alcohol and/or drugs.

Life becomes a habit of negatives. These actions may dull the senses for a period of time but our behaviour clearly identifies we are craving more from life. Although we don’t know how to go about achieving it.

There is a simple solution. Reprogramming the mind is as easy as a carrot a day?

Eating a carrot a day will prove to you that you are capable of commitment once you have set your mind to it. For some an obligation is not a new concept and for others it is nothing more than disappointing.

This activity will show you just how capable we all are of meeting and following through with our decisions.

By eating a carrot a day you will learn how the mind will attempt to sabotage every plan of action, regardless of how big or small your resolution.Continue reading→

Do you make a left turn into self-discovery?

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Which direction takes you on the path to self-development?

You have arrived at a roundabout. Turn right to party hard; having no need for responsibilities or being accountable for your actions.

Go straight ahead to continue along on the same journey, maintaining the status quo. Or make a left turn to the path of self-discovery.

Okay so that is not exactly how it happens. But once you hit this self-development route there are only two options. You do nothing at all.

This choice leaves you with a whole lot of unanswered questions and possibly a tormented mind. Life can even become stagnate, if it is not already.

The second option is to take action. A mild word of caution, the beginning has the potential to disrupt our lives and create havoc.

Self-development is about examining ourselves for improvement. And this is where we can be left a little shaken up or even devastated by some of our flaws. And if you thought short cuts was going to get you there (I did) another rude awakening is on its way.

We may have to muster up every good quality we possess to see us through the following stages. Embrace the positives because this path is going to give you a roller coaster ride, leaving you breathless, stunned and a little excited.

As you are flying through the air at a fast speed wondering will this ever stop. All the while your belly feels a though it has taken up residence in your mouth.

Honing in your skills and working on yourself. The benefits outweigh the immediate discomfort. Although there is a gutsiness in shining a light on your own imperfections. Taking the opportunity to improve. The biggest challenge I have ever faced is my explosive temper.

This behaviour is a known family trait, passed on from one generation to the next. I am not attempting to use the blame game for my actions. I am far too old and proud to say, “mummy made me do it”. I own my behaviour.

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Say goodbye to ego and hello to change.

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Say good-bye to ego and hello to change.

I would choose a thousand enemies over the uncertainty that my mind creates when I am looking to change my behaviour.

Put your hand up in the air; if you are aware that self-doubt lingers within each and every one of us? It’s that negative nagging. We have all heard the following in our minds. I can’t do it because …………. (Fill in your excuses here).

Other times it can be a physical manifestation created from doubt. So strong that it can make us feel weak just with the thought of change.

We face two challenges when it comes to altering behavior patterns. The new actions we want to instill into our life; and that evil enemy sitting on one side of our shoulder whispering doubt.

You are up against your old rival called Ego. To some it represents as the scared little child within and church goers refer to it as the devil; where temptation teases us to take the wrong path.

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