You’re High Maintenance When You Expect Too Much From Your Friends

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Do you have a friend that makes you feel like this?

From a young age we learn to socialise. We understand what a joy it is to be around other people. We can’t wait to see them and share good news. We get to lean on them through bad times. Mates will extend themselves and carry us when they see we need a shoulder to cry on. The support we offer and receive from one another creates strong bonds.

Yet friendships can be worn down from maltreatment. At times we forget and expect too much and give nothing in return. We may take it for granted that our buddies will be there for us no matter what. That’s a lot of pressure to put on someone else.

You’re high maintenance when you expect too much from your friends. What on earth does that mean?

None of us is perfect. Most of us understand that. We all tolerate and accept the idiosyncrasies in one another. Good traits outweigh those annoying habits.

We all tolerate and accept the idiosyncrasies in one another. Good traits outweigh those annoying habits. Share on X

Yet there are individuals in our circles that drag us down. Sometimes we are aware of what they do, other times we are unconscious to the fact.

It becomes obvious when you have to start cleaning up their mess.

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How Do You Steer the Dreamer, Complainer and Excuse Giver?

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We all have that friend or relative that continues to talk about the same thing, over and over. They either complain, make excuses or share their dreams. Nothing ever changes but they repeat themselves like it’s a whole new scenario.

Of course they have wonderful traits. Yet the main characteristic that sticks out is the one that keeps you at a distance. It’s asking too much to have to bare another round of what you have heard so many times before. You near cringe when you have to spend time with them.

How do you steer the dreamer, complainer and excuse giver?

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Are You A Copycat Or Do You Adopt Other Peoples Characteristics?

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Doesn’t this short clip illustrate how careful we have to be when raising children? They learn by watching everything we do. A child will adopt all our habits (behavioural patterns). The things we repeatedly say and do.

Apparently there was a public outcry over this community announcement. It had me wondering whether beer drinkers felt attacked over their regular intake. Is alcohol more important than their youngsters’ high probability of drinking in the future?

We are all aware that liquor is a major problem in the lives of some. A responsible adult having a couple of drinks of an evening is no cause for concern. However it does not mean your child won’t have alcohol issues. There is no way of predicting that.

Don’t you think it is a clever campaign? It illustrates the influence adults have on children’s future thoughts and actions.

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Interview with Ikechi Awazie from Be A Light To The World.

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Ikechi from Be A Light To The World.

When I think of Ikechi – I see a generous man who constantly encourages each and every one of us to acknowledge and grab hold of our own special talent. Qualities that only you possess.

I always picture Ikechi standing on a stage saying – ‘Hey you over there, why aren’t you sharing your gift?’ When you don’t share your flare others miss out.

See, You Got Talent: Harness to Make a Difference. In this post you will see Ikechi participating in a public speaking gig delivering the message to drop the self-doubt and embrace your special qualities.

When you visit Ikechi’s blog you will be left with no doubt that he specialises in showing us ways to manage life’s difficulties. And he demonstrates post after post that you don’t need to negotiate your life with mediocracy because you were born to Be a Light To The World.

When you are not being yourself and utilising your unique talents you are depriving maybe one person, maybe a community or maybe even the world of something that they may need right at this minute.

So let me present you with an interview with Ikechi, for some positive mental medicine and a healthy dose of encouragement and drive.

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Addiction – The Slow Steps Through Recovery

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Nobody ever sets out to become an addict.

Think about your favorite TV series. You know when a new session begins, the characters names and the story line.

Then think about your favorite food. Sometimes you go all day looking forward to that meal your mum is cooking. Your taste buds can’t wait for the flavours and textures to have a party in your mouth.

Now think about your best friend. When anything good or bad happens – you immediately share the experience.

You can go without the TV, your favorite dish and speaking with your mates. Although you may feel disappointment or a sense of loss for a while but you know you will get over it.

The pull with addiction has similar features. A drug addict, knows where to score the best deals and the cost.

Before they get their little package they anticipate the transaction. Once an exchange of cash for goods is complete the consumer then scoots off to enjoy their purchase.

Not all these business transactions go according to plan. When something goes wrong an addict is quick to utilise other people and resources to get their fix.

It becomes a matter of urgency as there is a certain amount of time before the body starts to go into withdrawal. Some of the symptoms are muscle aches, insomnia, abdominal cramping, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting.

The psychological aspects are agitation, anxiety, irritability and worry.

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Affair – Is The Dirty Word In A Relationship.

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The group that hacked into the Ashley Madison dating site certainly bought data security into the open. It also propelled already damaged relationships into further chaos. Could you imagine being in a relationship going about your day to find that your partner on the data base of a website that practices extra martial affairs.

Obviously this partnership has had its issues, no relationship is without them, however now the spouse has to deal with adultery.

Or

You have been at your current job for five years. You and your colleague were employed on the same day. A strong and supportive relationship has developed over time.

On Mondays you openly talk about what you did on the weekends with your partner and kids. You have shared times when the home environment has hit a rocky patch. Your spouse’s know one another and on the odd occasion, all four of you have all gone out together.

Your home relationship takes a turn for the worst and you are both discussing this matter at a work event. It becomes obvious that you’re attracted to one another. This creates an opportunity to turn this relationship into more than just work mates.

The first scenario is pre-motivated with the intent to indulge in an extra marital affair. However the second situation is founded on trust and support. There is nothing sordid about the later. These people have known each other for years.

Yet no excuse stops the pain a spouse feels when they find out about an affair. Nothing eases the surprise, the betrayal or the heartache.

Nothing eases the pain, surprise, betrayal or heartache a spouse feels when finding out about an affair. Share on X

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Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Would.

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Have you ever felt hurt or defeated by that person who you were so charmed by but they ended up being a fraud. You listened closely and absorbed everything they said and did.

In fact, due to the information you gathered about them, they were your new best friend and boy were they fun. To find out down the track they were a sham. Nothing that came out of their mouth was the truth, everything they did was opposite to what they had to say.

Now you know better and you feel like crap. But should you? You can’t be responsible for the actions of others. How they represented themselves has absolutely nothing to do with you. How could it? You just met them.

Of course you want to believe people at face value. Why should you be questioning someone else’s motives? If you are evaluating whether a person is the ‘real deal’ then you are giving them too much time. But it also indicates that something does not add up and you don’t trust them.

Sure we’re going to be affected by people who lie with a smile on their face. But they damage their own reputation and credibility. It’s not your load to deal with. We have enough friends that give us what we need. We reach out for new connections because we are social beings.

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Are You the Reason Your Relationship is Over?

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Does the heart weigh more when we are in love? It feels so full of happiness that we think it may explode. Radiating like a neon light. When our relationships are going well they have the power to lift us up, give us a leap in our walk, the sky seems bluer and life a mystical magical journey.

However, other times our relationships seem like nothing more than hard-work and we would rather criticise, abuse or avoid the other person rather than address the core issues.

The committed relationship.

Believe it or no; you struck a deal with your partner when you committed to each other. Back in the day when verbal agreements and a hand shake were as good as signing your name to a contract, the deal was sealed.

When both parties make this promise; they offer to share their most valuable assets: – their heart and mind. You have decided to become partners in crime. Sharing these cherished yet vulnerable commodities is not only saying, ‘I love you’, but ‘I trust you with everything I have’.

A union of this magnitude has the power to make you rise above the trivial and make you see the world in a rainbow of colors. It’s a big responsibility and one that should not be taken lightly, ever!

Because this joint venture also has the power to mentally reduce you to nothing, finding it hard to breath and fight another day. You try to remember when this relationship started to become difficult, doing nothing more than decreasing your energy levels with negativity. Wondering if you can ever come back from it.

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Our Behaviour Requires Different Hats.

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We wear a different hat in each environment we circulate.

Did you know you’re a fashionista in your own right? Don’t sound so surprised. Were you aware you have a collection of hats?

Do I hear you say you don’t wear hats? Well I am inclined to disagree. Let me explain.

How many environments do you circulate in? There is home, extended family, friends, school or work. Then there are the hobbies we partake in and enjoy.

Would you agree that your behaviour differs when you are with family as opposed to with friends?

You don’t perform in the work place with the same mannerisms you would your mates. There are similarities but our attitudes are somewhat different.

When we are at home with our family we are able to relax and behave in accordance to the moods we feel. We have ourselves on display. The good, the bad and the ugly. We have grown up with these people and they have seen us in all our glory and at our worst.

Then we have the work hat. Our temperament and behaviour are very different to the hat we wear at home. We don’t slouch over the lounge, surfing TV channels yelling, “Mar, when is dinner going to be ready?” We present with an approachable professional attitude.

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Stare fear in the face and decide how to respond.

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We all have confident areas in our lives where we would not even consider second guessing ourselves, we do things with efficiency. We go about our daily agenda with little or no doubt about how we manage. No fear here.

How do we live fearlessly in every part of our life? The answer is, prepare and then walk into the cyclone of fear.

Fear is one of our most recognised built in alarm systems. It is one of the easiest of emotions that we can identify; without any confusion.

It gives us little choice but to address it. Because we feel it. If anything you could thank fear for being so dam obvious. But be aware that it can lead us astray and hold us back from life.

First, let’s acknowledge that we all have already faced fear. Even as a child you worried about the monsters living under your bed or concerns that kept you close by mum or dads side. But they were all overcome.

Fear has the capacity to hold you back and make you miserable. The one thing with fear is you can never avoid it because it is too strong a force for you to ignore. Knowing that you may as well do something with it.

The one thing with fear is you can never avoid it because it is too strong a force for you to ignore. Share on X

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