Addiction – The Slow Steps Through Recovery

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Nobody ever sets out to become an addict.

Think about your favorite TV series. You know when a new session begins, the characters names and the story line.

Then think about your favorite food. Sometimes you go all day looking forward to that meal your mum is cooking. Your taste buds can’t wait for the flavours and textures to have a party in your mouth.

Now think about your best friend. When anything good or bad happens – you immediately share the experience.

You can go without the TV, your favorite dish and speaking with your mates. Although you may feel disappointment or a sense of loss for a while but you know you will get over it.

The pull with addiction has similar features. A drug addict, knows where to score the best deals and the cost.

Before they get their little package they anticipate the transaction. Once an exchange of cash for goods is complete the consumer then scoots off to enjoy their purchase.

Not all these business transactions go according to plan. When something goes wrong an addict is quick to utilise other people and resources to get their fix.

It becomes a matter of urgency as there is a certain amount of time before the body starts to go into withdrawal. Some of the symptoms are muscle aches, insomnia, abdominal cramping, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting.

The psychological aspects are agitation, anxiety, irritability and worry.

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Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Would.

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Have you ever felt hurt or defeated by that person who you were so charmed by but they ended up being a fraud. You listened closely and absorbed everything they said and did.

In fact, due to the information you gathered about them, they were your new best friend and boy were they fun. To find out down the track they were a sham. Nothing that came out of their mouth was the truth, everything they did was opposite to what they had to say.

Now you know better and you feel like crap. But should you? You can’t be responsible for the actions of others. How they represented themselves has absolutely nothing to do with you. How could it? You just met them.

Of course you want to believe people at face value. Why should you be questioning someone else’s motives? If you are evaluating whether a person is the ‘real deal’ then you are giving them too much time. But it also indicates that something does not add up and you don’t trust them.

Sure we’re going to be affected by people who lie with a smile on their face. But they damage their own reputation and credibility. It’s not your load to deal with. We have enough friends that give us what we need. We reach out for new connections because we are social beings.

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Our Behaviour Requires Different Hats.

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We wear a different hat in each environment we circulate.

Did you know you’re a fashionista in your own right? Don’t sound so surprised. Were you aware you have a collection of hats?

Do I hear you say you don’t wear hats? Well I am inclined to disagree. Let me explain.

How many environments do you circulate in? There is home, extended family, friends, school or work. Then there are the hobbies we partake in and enjoy.

Would you agree that your behaviour differs when you are with family as opposed to with friends?

You don’t perform in the work place with the same mannerisms you would your mates. There are similarities but our attitudes are somewhat different.

When we are at home with our family we are able to relax and behave in accordance to the moods we feel. We have ourselves on display. The good, the bad and the ugly. We have grown up with these people and they have seen us in all our glory and at our worst.

Then we have the work hat. Our temperament and behaviour are very different to the hat we wear at home. We don’t slouch over the lounge, surfing TV channels yelling, “Mar, when is dinner going to be ready?” We present with an approachable professional attitude.

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Stare fear in the face and decide how to respond.

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We all have confident areas in our lives where we would not even consider second guessing ourselves, we do things with efficiency. We go about our daily agenda with little or no doubt about how we manage. No fear here.

How do we live fearlessly in every part of our life? The answer is, prepare and then walk into the cyclone of fear.

Fear is one of our most recognised built in alarm systems. It is one of the easiest of emotions that we can identify; without any confusion.

It gives us little choice but to address it. Because we feel it. If anything you could thank fear for being so dam obvious. But be aware that it can lead us astray and hold us back from life.

First, let’s acknowledge that we all have already faced fear. Even as a child you worried about the monsters living under your bed or concerns that kept you close by mum or dads side. But they were all overcome.

Fear has the capacity to hold you back and make you miserable. The one thing with fear is you can never avoid it because it is too strong a force for you to ignore. Knowing that you may as well do something with it.

The one thing with fear is you can never avoid it because it is too strong a force for you to ignore. Share on X

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Communication Styles You Don’t Want To Be Good At.

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We all know of a radio shock jock or a TV personality that is notorious for their obnoxious or confrontational outbursts. Some people are hired for this specific reason.

Imagine being offered a job because your known as a loud mouth. You have a reputation for making people defensive. You’re recognized as antagoniser. This identifies you as not having a communication filter.

Two schools of thought.

When an individual communicates without diplomacy it appears as if they don’t care about what others think of them. However, this very action highlights they don’t put themselves first.

When we respect ourselves; we are mindful about how we send out our verbal messages. We don’t need to be liked, we are not asking for acceptance or approval. We are saying – “I value who I am”. The consideration of others is not a sign of weakness. It’s a leadership quality, encouraging open dialogue.

The consideration of others is not a sign of weakness. It's a leadership quality, encouraging open dialogue. @thedigger0 Share on X

The type of communicator you are highlights what you feel about yourself, not what you feel about others. We understand this because we can only be responsible for our own words and actions.

What are we saying about ourselves if we feel the need to floor someone with unkind words or by teasing them (some refer to this as roasting) in front of others? To blurt out whatever comes to mind in an emotionally charged situation is not power, but lack of self-restraint.

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Dear Domestic Violence

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There will never be an acceptable excuse for raising your hand to another human being.

Dear Domestic Violence. You may not remember last night, but you only have to take one look at me and you will immediately recognise your handy work. All because you were in a drunken stupor.

I heard you bounce off the hallway walls as you stagger to our bedroom. It was only a matter of time before I have to face the harsh reality of your fist connecting with some part of my body. Instantly my sensors were on high alert. It were as if I was a captured animal awaiting my fate.

You whacked me, blow after blow for reasons unknown to myself. Once you physically exhausted yourself, the punches stop. Then you fall into a deep sleep; I survey my injuries until, I hear you snoring. It is only then I decide it is safe to remove myself from the floor.

I slowly start to attend to my wounds. I wipe away the blood, dress the cut on my lip and bandage my arm. I am house bound until these injuries begin to heal. No matter how many times you do this to me; my pride won’t allow me to be seen in public like this.

Before I lay down by your side, I stare at you for what seems like hours – my thoughts swing from questions on how to kill you; to how had I got myself into such a messy, desperate situation? I am cocooned in a cycle of your weak abuse and sorrow.

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Interview with Rohan Chaubey from Be Rohanlicious

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Rohan Chaubey

ROHANLICIOUS stands for being Real, Optimistic, Honest, Admirable, Nice, Leader, Inspirational, Creative, Insightful, Opportunistic, Unique and Selfless. Rohan encourages his readers to live up to these standards.

By now I gather you know who I am interviewing. My motivation for such a post was to utilize an amazing mind and highlight a work ethic that is an example to us all.

Rohan appears tirelessly around the internet. Presenting professional opinions and sharing his knowledge.

It seems Rohan has a wonderful ability to make everyone feel included and worthy of his time. However after reading some of his posts, his boundaries are clear and his kindness should never be mistaken as weakness.

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Why We Behave The Way We Do? Acceptable Social Behavior.

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Some people think the rules don't apply to them. Our behavior matters.

We stand out when we don’t conform.

A loan shark lends out money at high interest. The payee accepts the payment terms due to the desperate nature of his circumstances. When the agreement is not met, the stand over man who is in the business of collecting money by any means possible will come knocking. In most circumstances this is not acceptable social behavior.

When the tough guy is around his mother, grandparents or other family members, a different behavior is necessary. It would not be acceptable to behave in the same manner he does whilst at work.

This highlights that we behave according to the environment we are surrounded by. When the setting changes so does our conduct. We adapt to the social situation in order to fit in.

We learn cultural norms, rules and patterns of acceptable and non-acceptable behavior that dictate how we operate within society and various groups to which we belong. (Training in Australia – M.D Tovey & D. Lawlor P. 55).

We are comfortable with social etiquette as it is an indicator that everything is under control. It is a standard of behaviour that creates a safe and protected environment.

Social norms are what keep society functioning. Whether we are aware of it or not we embrace these unsaid rules of behavior.

Social norms are what keep society functioning. Whether we are aware of it or not we embrace these unsaid rules. @thedigger0 Share on X

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Risk Analysis – A Practised Part of Project Management.

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Managing Challenges.

There is no forward progress without some sort of plan. When we start making moves towards future goals, we anticipate the good, the bad and the ugly. This is called risk analysis and it is a necessary part of the process.

Big projects have this calculated into their costs, time management and outcomes. It’s preparing for unforeseeable situations that may or may not arise. Exploring a development from this angle allows us to accommodate for the weather, cost, materials, safety, damage and time-delays.

Tenders for the construction of buildings have weather and material delays calculated into their itemised figures. Each venture will have it is own unique dynamics and requirements.

When we break a plan up into small achievable steps we can apply risk analysis to these same phases. Never underestimate this process as simply calculating a few disappointments along the way. This part of the project prepares the mind for the unanticipated. It allows us to manage whatever arises, whether it was forecasted or not.

When we break a plan up into small achievable steps we can apply risk analysis to these same phases. Share on X

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Gossip – Is a Backward Compliment.

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Gossip excludes individuals.

You glance around the room, to find those same three people looking at you and then laughing or whispering amongst themselves. The first time this happened you were left wounded and hurt. Then you reprimand yourself for thinking others would gossip about you.

Most days, you are faced with the same behaviour. They have confirmed that you are a source of their chatter because they make comments about you within hearing distance.

They invest so much time and effort in you, that it leaves you feeling a number of raw emotions. Anger, paranoia, sadness and vulnerable.

You wonder what is so dam interesting about you; that can hold their attention for so long. This is what I call a backward compliment.

It is as if your presence places them under some magical spell – captivating them.

RELATED: The Dangers of Gossip. (This post is a story about gossip – great antidote).

Having to attend school, the work place or any situation where this type of behaviour exists; is a lot of pressure initially. It can impact us for hours after the situation has taken place. This is understandable when we first encounter circumstances such as this. We have no tools or experience with this sort of conduct.

When you first come across passive aggressive behaviour (hostile words said with a smile on their face), you may attempt to laugh it off; it’s uncomfortable but you are not so sure what is going on. You don’t want to create waves so you bare the brunt of an awkward situation. But it zaps all the positive energy from you.

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