Have you ever listened to a speaker deliver a message where you hold onto their every word? It’s a spectacular scene to behold. Its that strong opinion that sparked passion.
Every part of their voice and gestures show commitment to the subject. Creating discussions where everyone’s hooked. There are many for and against. The whole group are under no illusion, it’s the subject that’s under attack. Disagreement stirs the conversation.
The message is lost when: –
- It becomes personal.
- It’s about one person’s point of view. Every other opinion is dismissed.
- Individuals are being talked over.
- The main objective is to win an argument rather than debate it.
A crowd will leave the talk with what stood out the most. The subject is no longer the talking point. The behaviour has people shaking their heads in dismay.
Problems arise when one falls deaf to views that aren’t in line with their own. Behaving as if their beliefs are the only ones that matter.
Making allowances for the inconsistencies.
The audience puts holes in the argument.
- Arranged marriages. Believing it takes away choice. In this day and age a custom such as this should be ruled out. Yet there’s a couple in the crowd who are happily married. They were part of this tradition.
The pair begin to voice their opinion but are shut down. Had they been able to have their say, you would’ve heard how fortunate they feel. Some of their friends weren’t so lucky and other people they know who got to choose their partners are now worse off.
- Marriage. Once you commit you stay in the relationship regardless of the circumstances. The constitution of marriage no longer holds the value it once did.
Yet there’s a woman who has escaped physical violence. Having little choice but to leave. Had she been able to share her opinion she would have burst into tears. Her partner had been the man of her dreams. After “I do” everything changed. She was beaten on her wedding night.
- Abortion. What ignorance to believe that a foetus is not yet life. It’s murder. People go to jail for this crime.
Yet had the mother of a 17 year old been heard. She would have shared how her daughter was viciously raped. How they had discussed all pregnancy options. As the young woman was still beside herself with grief she could not see past what had happened.
What’s your priority?
People will remember how you made them feel. Maintaining a strong opinion and delivering your message in a way that keeps your subject alive. Decide what you want from the discussion. People leaving offended or hungry for more. Which communicator do you want to be?
- Spreading your message far and wide. Or winning an argument with individuals who hold different beliefs on the matter. Making others defensive or aggressive. Building a wall between you and the people you’re attempting to inform.
- Intimidating others does not get the message across. Strong opinions packed with a negative verbal punch will always be remembered. Ramming your views down everyone’s throat. Alienating yourself. Your presence creates the attitude of ‘oh it’s them again’.
- Having a reputation as a loud mouth. Creating scenes in public. People will remain silent in your presence or want to vacate the area when you’re around. You don’t allow people to breathe. Their first motivation is to stay away from you.
It’s all about communication skills and the delivery.
Are you a communicator that gets people so excited they find it hard to sit down? Having them on the edge of their seat.
Communicate so that individuals are so excited they find it hard to sit down? Have them on the edge of their seat. @thedigger0 Share on XYou can hold whatever opinion you like when you: –
- make people laugh,
- tell a story,
- allow others a voice,
- gather a crowd as you’re entertaining and interesting.
Individuals are eager to listen and be a part of what you have to say. People gravitate towards you. Even when they disagree with your strong opinion they look forward to debating the topic.
- Controversy will get attention. Not all will appreciate this method.
- Being loud will keep others away.
- Charm pays off.
Not everyone is going to dig your style. Reach out to those who are interested and like to engage.
Not everyone is going to dig your style. Reach out to those who are interested and like to engage. @thedigger0 Share on XIt’s doesn’t matter if people agree or disagree. It’s all about the delivery. If you want your message to live on, make it memorable for the right reasons.
Winning an argument.
- Does it make you feel better?
- Did it achieve the results you desired?
- Was it better to dominate rather than have a win-win situation?
- Will that person want to listen or contribute to future conversations?
- Did that conjure up trust?
It’s not always about being right. Delivering a strong opinion is about keeping the lines of communication open.
It’s not always about being right. Delivering a strong opinion is about keeping the lines of communication open. @thedigger0 Share on XI argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me. – Dave Barry.
The subject.
- Present your opinion.
- Listen to the responses. Encourage engagement.
- Be open.
Think about an activist with indepth knowledge on live animal exports. Understanding current policies and the political climate. They disagree with what’s going on. Attempting to change opinions and rally additional supporters towards their cause.
Other people are not as well versed on the stress and cruelty the animals suffer being shipped abroad. Yet they believe no animal should come to harm. Holding a firm opinion on the subject.
The protester hears what the lay person has to say. When the activists gets a moment to squash any of these opinions, they do so. Instead of enlightening the individual with facts, they have shut down the lines of communication.
If you’re really wanting to spread the word you’d be informative. Sharing your knowledge allowing others to grow. You don’t want people leaving a conversation thinking you’re a big mouthed fool. No longer considering the subject.
When you are full of hot air and bad manners people will see you coming and start thinking of excuses not to be around you.
Having a reputation as a conversation stopper.
Cut throat opinions stop conversations. There’s a one sided argument that takes place. Leaving no room for the views of others. Passion is lost. People feel uncomfortable and hold their tongue when communication is delivered in this style.
A crowd gathers for the wrong reasons. People will always stop and listen to someone who is being abrupt. They aren’t watching out of respect. A commotion has been created. They’re observing drama from a distance. Relieved they’re not amongst it.
People will remember the speakers conduct rather than subject.
On the receiving end of a dominate voice.
If you have ever left a conversation feeling offended, you’re no longer thinking about what you were discussing. You’re focused on how rude or badly behaved the other person was. If you’re going to spend time thinking about the situation become the critique.
- What did you like and dislike about the communicator?
- Did they hold valid points?
- Did it matter what their opinion was when you left feeling angry at their behaviour?
- Why would you not choose the same style?
Behaviour versus a strong opinion.
“Pam told her story. It was great until the argument. Gee she was an idiot in the way she attacked the man in the crowd because he did not agree.”
“Pam had a great argument today. Speaking passionately about climate change. I did not agree with her, but she certainly got everyone’s attention.”
Do not think of knocking out another person’s brains because he differs in opinion from you. It would be as rational to knock yourself on the head because you differ from yourself ten years ago. -Horrace Mann
Wrapping up.
There’s nothing wrong with having a strong opinion. In fact it can be rather exciting to listen and watch those who hold such passions. Sharing information, leaving our minds stirred and discussions alive.
It’s all about the delivery. Opposing someone’s idea and shutting them down stops discussion on the chosen subject. Changing the landscape of the conversation. How can a discussion stay alive with a dominating voice and cut throat behaviour?
Not everyone will appreciate your style not matter how you delivery your message. Aiming your information at those that want to engage should be the priority. Remember whats at stake. Being right will not always create a win-win situation.
It’s up to you how you want to ensure your words stick in the minds of others. Encourage people to voice their views, creating momentum, keeping the subject alive. Consider how to pitch a strong opinion without losing the message.
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A thought provoking article as always Rachel. I’m sure it is something that can be learned but some people seem to have a natural flair for it.
Being in the health field, when it comes to getting my point across I feel it’s more about educating. I try to make understanding my opinion or point my goal.
I usually make sure that my point is for the benefit of the person or people I’m talking to and not just because I want to make it although it can be tempting!
Having a deep knowledge about your subject and being passionate is bound to help. But I agree that this is not all that is required.
Sandy Halliday recently posted…Red Smoothie Detox Factor For Weight Loss & Healing
Hey Sandy,
Being informative and educational is about passing information over. I find this to one of the biggest responsibilities. Sharing your knowledge with others, especially when your an expert in your field. It’s exciting Sandy. Wanting to be the facilitator of change.
I agree some people have a flair for delivery. However those who have the passion can find the flair or a delivery method that is most appropriate for them. We no longer need to be up in the public eye speaking, we can do it from platforms such as blogging.
But I truly love someone who is passionate about what they speaking about, even when I don’t agree, they catch my attention. I learn something or dig my heels further in with disagreement. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
It is all about communication and delivery. I’ve always believed that you can say just about anything if it’s delivered appropriately.
I think people have issues with communicating because their objective is to just speak without any real purpose behind it, like to get someone to understand. They just want to be heard or to get it out. I think this is also connected with not listening. Conversations go two ways, when it becomes one the message is lost.
~Lea
Lea Bullen recently posted…How to Make Your Failures Work for You
Hey Lea,
I absolutely agree Lea, you can say anything you like, its how you say it.
You nailed a fine point. The urgency to get their point across. That is why we need to know what the priority of passion is. Listening gives us indicators on whether our message is getting through or if the message is not what the other person agrees with. By just putting our info out there but not listening to others, how can we gauge how the other person is receiving it. For dialogue to continue we need to keep the lines of communication open. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel
Sometimes the one with the information and passion feels that he needs to be heard. He feels that no one just understands and wants to get his the information to others no matter the what.
You are right. Delivery is very important and a conversation can lose purpose if the presenter becomes focused on the argument.
Thought provoking and thanks for sharing. Take Care
Hey Ikechi,
I enjoy your consideration of the person with the desperate need to get their message across. That understanding is admirable. The person with passion must not only talk but learn to listen. You can’t have one without the other – otherwise you’re expecting things from others that you yourself aren’t providing. We engage far better showing our passions and learning the art of listening. We keep dialogue alive like this.
Oh the delivery is so important. Probably just as important as the passion. I bet you have your favorite presenters, they talk and you feel alive. And then there are those with the same information but their delivery does not do it for you. I know which one you are tuning into.
Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Rachel, a good point well put forward.
To be honest, you are absolutely right that having strong opinion is good but having a good manner to put your opinion forward and let others to understand and accept it is a skill.
We all see from our own lenses. It is an art to see from other people’s perspective. Always a pleasure to read your articles.
Hey Ahmad,
I agree, having a strong opinion is one thing, delivery is another. But you can’t have one without the other. I have seen it in lectures, talks, even on TV. When someone is making a point but is not delivering, all of a sudden we go eerrrr and forget what they are talking about and watch their behaviour.
And there is nothing better watching passion been voiced. We do see through our own lenses, that’s why we are able to deliver respectably, because we know how we critique others who aren’t delivering.
Even if we can’t understand another point of view, we can respect ourselves enough to show another person what we appreciate. Listening. Thanks for your comments
Rachel.
Hi, Rachel
I remember a quote “it is better to be nice than I am always right” I don’t believe any presenter can have good result without active listening.
We all need the presenter to have strong opinion about his subject. If not, we will not have confident to believe his reasoning. On the other hand, strong opinion without good deliver system is also a no no.
The bottom line is all coming down to delivery in communication. Good material will be enhanced to higher level if it is delivered appropriately.
If they just want to be heard without active listening, that one way conversation will cost the message to lost in …..
Enjoy this nice post, Rachel!
– Stella Chiu
Stella Chiu recently posted…10 Keys to the Success of your 2016 New Year Resolution
Hey Stella,
Great comment.
I agree with the statement. Being nice is better than being right. You can also state an opinion with confidence without agreeing. Breaking a subject up into pieces is different than attacking people who disagree.
I have wondered about a strong opinion and the delivery. Is it like what came first, the chicken or the egg? What’s more important? If you have a message and can’t deliver it, is there any point to having the strong opinion? And one can always learn delivery because the passion is to great too keep to themselves, they feel the need to share.
I have watched speakers have an opinion who are not interested in what others have to say. People do lose interest or dialogue stops. It’s not as enjoyable as a speaker who backs up what they say and has the audience fired up. Who encourages audience participation. Active listening is essential to sending out your message.
Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
A very timely post Rachel for what’s going on in our political scene here in the US. It’s really surprising how some personalities can get away with cutting people off, having them thrown out of the room, or petulantly refuse to talk with someone and then blame that person for their behavior.
And how little of substance they actually say!
All the best!
Quinn
Hey Quinn,
Good to see you.
I have always found political campaigns and insult to the public. The money that is spent in these times is shocking. And people insulting each other. While it may seem like everyone wants to see this public display of bad manners – everyone is glad its not them up there.
Dishing out the dirt and finding the holes in everything and then getting air time to share an agenda, just does not impress me. I find political campaigns floored. Its rife with bullying tactics as well.
Sounds as if I got the timing right on, but that was not my intention. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel.
Great distinction. 🙂
The delivery part is pretty important in communicating a strong opinion. Your post reminded me of a moment in a course I was going through.
the name of the course was Man Transformation. It was developed by David deAngelo. Its intention was to help men attract the perfect woman in their life.
There was a very interesting exercise that David did with his audience.
He asked a question from all the men in the hall.
“Who thinks it is a good idea to have sex before starting a relationship?”
Many said yes. Many said no.
He called one guy from both categories up on stage.
He asked both of them to make the other understand why they believe in their opinion. The two young men tried to express their own opinion to other. But both couldn’t really understand the other person’s opinion.
David pointed out, that this was the fundamental cause of all human conflict.
“Not being able to understand a person’s view that differs from our own.”
The explained that you don’t necessarily have to accept views opposite to yours, but you should be able to see clearly why the other person holds the opposite view. This understanding allows you to embrace new ideas without rejecting them.
🙂
Hey Ankit,
Yeah we can have a strong opinion and be bad at delivery and our message is lost.
The course you attended. Sounds as if you are a romantic looking for love. Obviously the lesson resonated because you took the message away and then delivered right here on my blog.
Agree to disagree. When I heard this in my early adulthood it stopped me in my tracks. In my house we argued because we disagreed and that was that. There was no room for anything else. This new concept of agree to disagree really was a big turning point in my life. I could disagree, still like the person and not feel aggrieved by a difference of opinion. I loved the idea. Back to the point you making. I can understand a concept and understand why a person holds it, I can always be confused and have no idea why a person holds it. Even after a discussion I am still confused. That is okay. I will respect their view, because first and foremost I respect who I am as a person.
Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
Openness is so important when giving an opinion. When I was going through my transition from a conservative Christian to a more spiritual mindset, my pastor wanted to meet with me and figure out what was making me go astray in his eyes. I was a little worried about this meeting, but it went really well. This was all due to the fact that we were both open, asked a lot of questions, listened, and though we both had strong opinions, it was equal parts talking and listening. Though the conversation could have gone many different ways because of his strong opinions, it was actually thoroughly enjoyable, and people like that have a lot of respect from me.
I also love the examples of good presentation you gave. I use stories to get my point across a lot because I think people can relate to other’s experiences almost more than anything else. If we have strong opinions with stories to back them up, it’s more likely that people will listen. It’s not just an opinion for the sake of having one, but an opinion based on life experience. I also love making people laugh. I think this is such a good way to soften a really strong opinion, to make it more enjoyable and pleasant to listen to for the receiver.
As you said, and lots of others in the comments, it really is all about the delivery. Always wanting to be right, alienating others simply because you think your way is the only way, being loud and belligerent, none of these will garner you a very captive audience or listener. Everyone wants to be heard and understood, even if they aren’t being agreed with. If you are just throwing your views all over the place without even taking the other person or people in to consideration, others will want to steer clear of sharing strong topics with you.
As always, this was a very enjoyable read.
Be blessed,
Rylie
Hey Rylie,
I love that you recognised that you were a little worried about the meeting with your Pastor. You are very in tuned with your feeling and thinking. The talking and listening means you were passionate about where you wanted to get to in the conversation but had enough respect for yourself and the other party and vice versa. We can get into a hurry when we get nervous or worried wanting to blurt it out and across all messed up. So you handled it well, but having a Pastor who would be a good communicator yet passionate – would have managed the situation. Even when he did not get a win because you were leaving.
Story telling gets the message across easier I think. I sometimes feel like a cheat when I story tell because I feel very comfortable with it.
Oh the delivery is the clincher. Your backing yourself, backing your strong opinion and your ready to face the opposition with anything they may throw at you. Its exciting. Have you ever disagreed with someone but really enjoyed how they presented their voice you could near agree with them due to delivery alone. Then there are people you agree with yet they near yelled their opinion at you that you want to disagree just because you have taken a disliking to their style.
As a young person, I used to love to argue I would take the opposite view for the sake of an argument. But I started to realise unless I have something worth while to say, I should not open my trap. Hot air and talking for the sake of it bored me, I should learn from how I felt.
Thanks for your comments and your thoughts. As always very enjoyable.
Rachel.
Omigosh, Quinn took my comment! lol! YES–our political scene right now is crazy, and you could probably strategically post pictures of several candidates throughout this piece as examples.
It’s funny…in my personal life, the more upset I am, the more quietly I speak. Kind of the opposite of many people.
Thanks for a great post.
Blessings!
Chanler
Hey Chanler,
I have never been a fan of the political campaigning. I think the message gets lost when the nasty comes out to play. I truly get disappointed when I see decision makers connected to tearing people apart rather than the policies. Here in Australia there have been such horrible attacks on the person and not the policy – it is never impressive. It lets the person on the attack down. I could go to town on some of the politicians.
I’m a bit like you when I am extremely upset or angry, I get very quiet. Yet my actions are precise my accuracy is outstanding.
Thanks for your comments. Must have a word for Quinn for taking your comments, LOL.
Rachel.
This made me think of when I was just starting out in the professional world after graduating from college. I had the best boss and after an office meeting with our whole team, she pulled me aside and told me how much she appreciates all of my input, my great idea and my opinion whether it is positive or negative toward whatever we were speaking about, but I needed to be cautious of rolling my eyes. I looked at her like she was a bear. My jaw must have just dropped open and she said she knew I didn’t realize I was doing it, but it comes off as unprofessional, that I don’t care what others think and that I think whatever I say is best and of course she knew I didn’t think any of that. So my point is, not only do the words coming out of your mouth have a lot to do with your delivery, but so does your body language.
Hey Christine,
I smile because of the unconscious stuff we do. How wonderful that your employer pulled you aside to make you aware that you were rolling your eyes. Could you imagine the possibility of you doing it for years before finding out. Like that information is gold. The gossip mongers in the office get really offended by this sort of behaviour. Its a sign that you look down on their idea or them as people.
I’m still smiling Christine because I know this information would have shocked you. I had a similar experience when someone pointed a behaviour out to me. I instantly got what they meant and it crushed me. Because of that info, I felt relief that someone would take the time and point it out to me. Gee I wish I knew what it was but I can certainly remember feeling the relief. And it was because of what you wrote and my familiarity to your situation that I am still smiling.
I am very aware of body language I really do use to make my points known regardless of words. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
I love this!! I frequently use story telling to make my point!
Hey Cynthia,
Telling stories is a great way to get our points across. I do like making big statements and then backing them up with a story. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
This is so true. If you really want people to listen to you, you need to be open and receptive to other opinions. I know that I stop listening if someone completely shuts down opposing opinions. There’s always 2 sides to the story.
Hey Shann,
I know what you mean. I too have shut down when my opinion has been dismissed. Our delivery is so important especially if we are trying to get something important across. I agree there are always two sides to a story, sometimes three opinions. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
I like the way you have you have mentioned each and every point in your post!! I would like to share some of my expeirence related to this here.
My brother is working as a personal trainer earlier when I was in college and he give me guidance when I went for Job Interview and I learn from my experience that what ever the situation you should have to be strong opinion to win anything in life.
Strong Opinion shows how much confidence you are and people use to judge you how you pitch you opinion in right manners.
Thanks for sharing such a informative stuff here!
Anant
Anant Patel recently posted…How To Start a Blog – Free Beginner’s Guide
Hey Anant,
Your brother sounds very wise giving you the advice he did. A strong opinion is never the problem. You will find many people enjoy confidence. It comes from believing in ourselves and what we are saying. These conversations are not forced or fake.
I agree Anant, people do judge the pitch along with the tone of voice and body language as well.
Thanks for your comments and kind words, good to see you over here.
Rachel.
Hey Rachel,
I have come to the discovery that this ends up being a matter of where an individual is in regard to their own level of consciousness.
Everything you’ve pointed out here has truth to it – but the delivery always has to do with what type of internal environment we live in. This is where we communicate from.
When someone is trying to deliver a message or a pitch, their tone will (more often than not) reflect who they really are. Sometimes tough to discern in writing, but certainly not impossible.
So many of us try to change our communication styles…but in reality, when WE change – when we actually become someone who wants to communicate effectively with others from this place of:
“I honor you and I respect your perspective. I don’t care to change you – I offer my own here and you can do with it what you wish”…that’s what people will take with them (in my humble opinion).
I haven’t come across this topic as of yet Rachel, so it’s awesome that you’ve written about it. Nice job 🙂
Dana recently posted…13 Calming Yoga Poses for Life’s Stormy Moments (Infographic)
Hey Dana,
I could not agree with you more. How an individual communicates their opinion or communicates full stop shows us where they are within themselves. I find it extremely difficult to pick up in writing what I am very comfortable reading verbally in tone of voice.
Your statement “I honor you and I respect your perspective” is a wonderful way of sharing your opinion. Particularly when a person is starting to steam up in the conversation. You really have the potential to keep the lines of communication open with this style. Because that’s what we are doing offering opinion and information.
I don’t know how many times I have held an opinion and disagreed with many a person and then there is one person who comes in and shakes my whole perspective or sends me into immediate thought because of a question. Years ago I would have been insulted by these people, now I am one excited person. I hunt these people, seek them out – I am looking for the person who holds a vastly different opinion and want to share it. Oh I don’t mind anyone agreeing that takes conversations to different levels. But when someone cuts you off in conversation, like really what can you do with that?
Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel
“People will remember how you made them feel”. Very good point.
To have a stong message is a great plus. So is being a good speaker. Touching people’s emotions however is the ultimate vehicle to spreading a message that will be remembered.
Issues become controversial when they allow for different points of view which may be supported by strong arguments. A statement that will draw deafening applause from one audience may not impress another.
Having the courage of your convictions is fine. Just never try and push your point of view it down the throats of others.
Great post with lots of golden nuggets.
Igert recently posted…Traffic comes to those who speak loudest
Hey Igert,
I could not agree with you more Igert. Getting in tuned with other peoples emotions will certainly leave a lasting impression.
There is a fine balance between passion and the delivery of the message. It should always be about the message, controversial is more reason for discussion. However ramming our opinions down other peoples throats turns a deaf ear. People will avoid that all the time.
A controversial matter can be discussed. Regardless of our opinions, manners is still one of the keys to good communication. Listen and respond. Don’t cut people off. Accept that not all will agree. All these keep the discussion going. Having one person on the attack, well not too many want to challenge that.
Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Really an awesome post, Rachel 🙂
I am loving this post!
~ Ahmad
Muhammad Ahmad recently posted…How to Earn Money by URL Shortening sites
Hey Muhammad,
I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for the visit.
Rachel.