It’s time to examine your emotions if you are feeling like this.
Creative people work towards having their master pieces viewed by an audience. With the intention of being informative or thought provoking. Generating emotions such as passion, anger, happiness and sadness or even sparking a fire. They want us to react. You may appreciate their work. It may bring up a fond or horrid memory from the past. If an artist has stirred something within you they get to take a bow.
Should we hold the same gratitude toward people who offend, insult or make us defensive? It’s not art when an individual rouses such deep feelings within us. However we could be thanking them in the long run for pointing out an area in ourselves that requires examination.
Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts. – Buddha
As humans we react so fast. One minute we are sitting around having a casual conversation, the next, voices are raised and a disagreement has erupted. When communication creates such disturbances, we can see this as an opportunity for growth.
There are many reasons why we react.
- You find out a friend has been talking about you behind your back. It creates anger and/or sadness at their betrayal. Can you stop them from talking about you?
- If someone has made fun of you. Can you stop them from saying what they have?
- Someone insults a family member. You immediately get defensive. Some would say you are protecting their honour. Can you stop the person from showing disrespect?
- A work colleague takes credit for your work. Can you stop them from being deceptive?
- A superior makes a decision that you don’t agree with. Can you change their mind set?
- Your child wants to attend a party, you won’t allow it. Can you stop them from wanting to go?
- A friend at school says something horrible about your partner. Can you change how they feel about that person?
- An individual presents strong and forceful points of view. Dismissing you immediately. Can you change their opinion or their behaviour? Do you really care to pick them up on being rude? Is there any point?
There are endless reasons we can feel offended, hostile and defensive towards someone else. What does it achieve?
If one human has behaved in a certain manner, you can be sure that there are others who conduct themselves in the same manner.
- You are aware there will always be more than one school bully. That is evident on the internet, in the news and what you have seen for yourself. It does not just happen at your school.
- You know that people text and drive. It does not only happen in your home town.
- You know people get into fights.
If we have felt discomfort in a certain situation, the possibility of it reoccurring again is high.
Once we come to terms with the fact that we are only in control of our own behaviour, we free ourselves from the responsibility of someone else’s actions and words. How do we go about achieving this?
Reactions are nothing more than an opportunity to assess the ‘SELF’. They highlight where something is a little off. This is confirmed by a strong feeling. We don’t get teachers or an education like this anywhere else. Self-examination is a better way of spending our time.
OR
The worst case scenario. When you have cleared your mind and restored your equilibrium you continue to believe your reaction was the other person’s fault. There is no room for growth if you’re processing your thoughts along these lines.
Could you imagine blaming others for your behaviour? Telling the world you had no control over a situation. That someone else held power over your mind.
Why people spend so much time deliberately fooling themselves by creating alibis to cover their weakness. If used differently, this same time would be sufficient to cure the weakness, then no alibis would be needed. – Elbert Hubbard
We have no power over how someone else behaves. We can’t control what comes out of their mouth or any of their actions.
We have no power over someone else's behaviour. We can’t control their words or actions. Share on XIf that is the case, why do we continue to repeat the scenario over in our mind? It serves no purpose. It’s time to train and discipline the mind.
We need to examine the situation from a different perspective.
Reacting equals examination.
Taking time out to think about our actions can lead to growth
Reflective analysis.
Right throughout our lives we will be interacting with other people. There will always be the possibility of communication escalating from disagreement to conflict. People get good at dismissing conversations when they don’t like what they are hearing. Being rude becomes a comfortable pass time for some.
You know when you are reacting: Your tone of voice changes and your voice speeds up. You become defensive. Your muscles may tense up. You’ve lost balance and you’re no longer in the mood to cater to someone else’s behaviour.
Responding: You’re conversing without being emotional wound up. Your thought processors are well balanced.
Questions to ask yourself.
- Will you respond or react to a potentially explosive situation?
- Will you leave the situation feeling angry? Is this person worth being furious over?
- Do you intend to spend time being annoyed when you find someone else’s behaviour inappropriate?
- Are you going to allow others to decide whether you experience a positive or negative outcome?
The first stage of exploration.
How I begin the process. When I am by myself I reflect on the situation. I may write about it or record myself so I am speaking aloud. I don’t hold back. I say whatever comes to my mind.
I express exactly how I feel. It has been ridiculous, self-centred, paranoid, angry, sad, deflated, lost and even empty. Whatever the intensity is I acknowledge it. This is my stage where I can be as unbalanced and irrational as I want. I get it all out of my system.
This is a necessary part of the process.
After a day or two my emotions have calmed. This is when I constructively reflect on the situation. I replay the scene over in my mind. I am grateful this person has given me an opportunity to examine myself.
- I don’t think about what the other person did and allocate blame.
- I refuse to play the victim. They own their actions, I own mine.
The sooner you learn to deal with how you respond rather than react you better equip yourself to manage any scenario.
It’s time to stop focusing on what the other person does. Start taking responsibility for your part only.
It’s time to stop focusing on what the other person does. Start taking responsibility for your part only. Share on X
Go back to where it began. Ask yourself: –
- How did the argument start?
- How did you react?
- Briefly acknowledge the other persons involvement.
- Focus on what you said and did.
- Why do you think you responded the way you did?
- If the situation were to arise again, how can you manage it so that you walk away feeling like you did not lose control?
- How many other approaches can you think of when dealing with a similar situation?
Regardless of whether the other person was rude, unfair, out of order, ridiculous is not the issue. What was your reaction?
Why reacting is not worth it.
Think about the last time you were in an argument. It was raw with anger. Communication was going back and forth from you to another. Your emotions ran wild as did your tongue. You let that other person know what was on your mind.
When the rage subsides, you realise the fight was not necessary. Some of the things that were said were nothing more than hurtful. You wanted to win. A competition was created out of anger.
Had you not responded the way you did, this argument would not have happened.
Now you’re thinking; but if they had not done what they did, none of this would have happened. STOP RIGHT THERE!
You cannot change or stop how people behave.
You will encounter this reoccurring behaviour until you manage your emotions. An individual will do something to annoy you. Responding rather than reacting is the key to the outcome. We acknowledge that another person’s behaviour does not in any way reflect us as individuals.
We will all be placed in situations where intense emotions rise to the surface. When our feelings take over we have lost control. This is a valuable indicator, guiding us to where we can look within ourselves.
Reflecting on our own behaviour leads to growth. Analysing the words and actions of someone who has made us react is a waste of time. We don’t have the power to change others.
We make progress when we focus on how we will manage poorly behaved individuals in the future. There will always be situations where we must rein in our emotions rather than react to the situation.
There will always be situations where we must rein in our emotions rather than react. Share on XLife becomes so much easier when we acknowledge this is the power to managing people and their issues. We empower ourselves from this perspective. Now that is got to be worth looking into.
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Rachel, another excellent point and I fully agree with it.
We do not need to show our reaction in a loud and angry way. Calmness and maturity are important.
People will behave in a way they are brought up and according to their own circumstances. It is not easily changeable.
You are the guardian and owner of your thoughts, behaviours and reactions. Nothing can hurt you if you don’t allow it to hurt you. There is an old African saying and I will finish with that.
When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.
Don’t let your emotions make you react in a way which does not reflect your true self.
Ahmad Imran recently posted…TweetCaster – Is it the Best Twitter App for Android?
Hey Ahmad,
Welcome back.
I have always found anger and loud voices never fixes any issue. If anything it creates additional problems and hurt. I agree calmness is important.
I really enjoyed how you put it – ‘you are the guardian and owner of your thoughts, behaviours and reactions.’
I agree with the African saying. I don’t know about you but I always worked on myself internally. It is now more than ever that I see the results of my hard work – but that does not mean I don’t have to continually self assess. I don’t think I have meet a person who is not impacted by another from time to time. We are all too human.
Thanks for a wonderful comment. I always enjoy what you have to say.
I just want to say Ahmad, I remember in a past comment, months ago you shared with me you were shy about commenting. I really hope that is no longer an issue any more because you have so much to offer others. Just saying.
Talk soon.
Rachel.
Hello Rachel,
You have given me so much to reflect on with this thought evoking post of yours.
Tell me about it!
I used to react to every single nasty comment that came my way and disturb my peace because of gossips, intimidating and rude behaviors. After a while, I started questioning myself,
Why do I react?
What am I trying to defend?
Who am I trying to change?
Does people’s opinion of me define who I am?
These questions prompted me to make some important personal changes.
I must admit, on rare occasions, it does get to me and I lose it but I do practice self-control and I’m able to respond the way I want without having to fly into a rage.
I believe this is an area many of us have difficulty with. It’s not easy when you’re confronted with unwanted situations and annoying people. Suddenly you find yourself wanting to defend your choices and thoughts.
I agree with you that learning how to deal with people who annoy us and those who want us to react instead of respond is the way to go.
Just thought of bringing this tiny typo to your attention,
“There are endless reasons we can feel offended, HOSTEL and defensive towards someone else”.
I’m certain you meant hostile instead hostel 🙂
Great post indeed!
Thank you
Hema
Hema Unnoop recently posted…25 Ways to Make Positive Thinking Work For You
Hey Hema,
Firstly, your comments. I feel your pain and am terribly sorry to hear you lost your comments. I had a near miss once and it really shock me. Secondly thank you for sharing my typo. After I have written this comment, I will change it immediately. Please feel free to do this any time. I appreciate this so much.
Hema it sounds as though you have come a long way in self development. You should really feel proud. Working on ourselves and changing is a tough job yet rewarding. I know you would have struggled with this. It is good when you get to a point where you are no longer looking at the other person but how you respond. I get this right most of the time – however I do have my falls from grace. That is when I go back to examine myself again.
The questions you ask yourself are worth while and such a better way of spending your time. When we let others get to us we hand power over to them. What is the point. I don’t like others being in my head because of what they have done. They only get thoughts when I want them in there. Thanks for your comments.
Talk soon.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
It’s so true that going over situations and thinking about what others have said and done is not only unhealthy, because we can’t change it, but it’s also not the best use of our time, because we keep going over the same old ground without reaching a conclusion.
I think that often, there are two parts to the process. Firstly, deciding whether we could have done anything better or differently. If we could have, there is a learning point for the future. Perhaps this unpleasant situation will help us to prevent the same thing happening in the future, if we can find the lesson that we need to learn.
However, there are times when there was nothing that we could have done and no amount of replaying the scene in our head will make it better. Then it’s time to move on from the situation, because we are not responsible for other people’s words and actions.
This is why I make a point of not responding to emails or messages if I’m angry! I wait until I can be sure that I’m responding, not reacting!
Thanks for a thought-provoking post.
Kirsty recently posted…Wintry weather idioms
Hey Kirsty,
Good to see you.
I agree, self analysis is the only way to go when we have been placed in a awkward situation. Deciding if there was a point to it. If you can learn from it. Making decisions based on our reactions, not the behaviour of others. I too am like you, I don’t send anything in anger. I get far too straight forward when anger is around. I never regret what I say, I don’t waste my time on being hurtful, but I lose my diplomacy. And won’t apologise for it either. That is why I stay away from all forms of communication in those times.
Once we have assessed our part in any situation it is over. That is all we have responsibility for. However it is about training our mind. We can be as logical as we want, but if our old behaviour has been to linger in how other people behaved, we have to work at retraining the brain. And that is a process we must be persistent with. However it is worth the determination because there is simply no point thinking we can outwardly change another person. Thanks for your comments.
Talk soon.
Rachel.
So very true!
We cannot control the actions or words of others, just like they can’t control ours. By focusing on the portion we can control and then using it most effectively, we can accomplish anything we set our minds to.
I too used to give away my power to people and situations until I realized just how much power I was giving away.
And for what?
To give myself the very brief and completely empty satisfaction of losing my temper?
How empowering it is. The day we claim our full power and ability to create and live the lives we want.
Amazing article!!
Robert Fuller recently posted…A Fool’s Prayer for Luck will Never be Answered
Hey Robert Fuller,
Welcome back.
After reading your anger post I know you have embraced the power and knowledge of managing your own emotions.
Had someone told me years ago I was giving my power away by reacting, I may have reacted, lost my temper and then thought about. That would have reshaped my thinking. As I am somewhat a power pig when it comes to self representation (issues I address on a daily basis), this very statement you made ‘give away my power to people’ would have had me desperately looking for solution. I could not fathom giving away my power. We serve nobody, least of all ourselves when we react to what others dish out.
Your last sentence fill me with motivation and enthusiasm for life. You have just got me on the go for the rest of the afternoon. So true, high five for you and a big smile. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel
Hey Rachel,
Bravo my dear, what a great post. I was shaking my head all the way through because I’ve walked away from friendships due to this type of thing.
Them not taking responsibility for their own actions, always wanting to argue and blame someone else, it’s never their fault, etc. We can only be responsible for our own actions and not that of others. I’m someone who likes to talk things out and there is no need to screaming or arguing. It does no good and serves no purpose.
We all get our feelings hurt and we’ve been hit with people saying nasty things about us at times. We all have that feeling that wells in us at a time like that but just taking some deep breaths and walking away from the situation is the best way to handle it I’ve found. I’d rather discuss the matter when I know I’m much more calm. Some issues have been resolved that way while others won’t ever be.
Thank you for sharing your own experience with us as well.
Happy Holidays!
~Adrienne
Adrienne recently posted…Special Announcement, Happy Birthday Wish, Your Holiday Gift
Hey Adrienne,
Some people we have to walk away from. They don’t give us any reason to hang around. Unfortunately there are individuals that wear us down and who needs that in their lives.
I am a bit like you in the respect of preferring to talk it out. It is always best to address issues when we are calm, we get to fix, compromise or agree.
I have found hurt and nasty are a part of what life will pitch to us. How we manage it or come back from it is up to us. However when I see others premeditated towards these behaviours it seems I become unaffected, it is like water off a ducks back. Sure there are times when I would love to react but I am all about productivity and time management. My logic is tied up into those areas. So when I deem a person unworthy of my time it seems the relationships is at its end.
Big smile at the deep breaths Adrienne – I have tried that, bitten my tongue and the inside of my mouth to keep my from reacting in the past. I have always said 5 seconds of glory (letting the anger beast out of its cage and reacting) for a life time of guilt (working on the lesson and never forgetting the situation).
Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
You chose a great picture to go with the article. It was exactly what I was thinking when I read the title.
You are so right about not being able to change other people’s behavior. Which is why I’ve concentrated so much on addressing my own. I found that other people’s responses can impact my own and ultimately take both of us away from the situation at hand.
I always try to keep my reactions in check but of course it’s still a work in progress.
~Lea
Lea Bullen recently posted…Are You Feeding Yourself This Bologna???
Hey Lea,
Thanks for the feedback on the picture. I was wondering if it was a bit aggressive but I wanted to really highlight the topic.
Lea when you say you have concentrated so much on addressing your own actions, I certainly can appreciate the work that goes into bringing the attention back to ourselves. It’s takes time, practice, determination and commitment to ourselves.
I could not agree with you more, it is a work in progress. I say 95% of the time I am top of things, I would not call myself tough, but I find nonsense in a lot of behaviour. I go through stages with it. I hold my tongue, get bored with it and on the odd occasions intolerable. When I get to that stage where I want to react – it means nothing more than tired.
When there are two reactionary people in communication nothing will be addressed. It turns into a petty competition where both are trying to out wit and hurt one another. I have never seen the point in that because we know once the anger has peaked nobody feels like that. If anything people are apologetic or get high on their horse and defensive again.
Sounds like you empowered by your own behaviour and that is certainly the best policy. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
very good article and a subject many have difficulties with.
I think we should not take everything personally and realize that often it
is the weakness of the person who is rude and his projection it may have
nothing to do with us.If we react, maybe something in us is hurt which we
have to fix.Reacting makes us a victim.we can staying in control of ourselves
if we have enough self-esteem we will stay calm in situations like this.
I like the African saying of Ahmad Imran, it is very true.
Bob Proctors said: When you REACT you are giving away your power.
When you RESPOND you are staying in control of yourself.
Thank you
Erika
Erika Mohssen-Beyk recently posted…The Law Of Vibration
Hey Erika,
Always good to see you. I had a lot of difficulties in my younger years as a reactor. It was tough to embrace a new behaviour and leave old habits behind. And as I was learning to harness new ways of dealing with reacting, I would have success and failures. It really is a tough one to shift. Although it is worthy to work on ourselves. Self love is about how we represent ourselves.
I remember being at a meditation retreat and one of the lessons was, when someone passes you a bad mood or behaviour – you mentally say, no thank you, I don’t want your gift. That really resonated with me. It then was not even about taking things personally but not even thinking along those lines.
I could not agree with you more Erika, we certainly play the victim and lose control when we react. I don’t know about you, but my emotions are the alarm bell inside of me that let me know things could spiral out of control. Thanks for your insight.
Rachel.
Hey Rachel,
Gosh, this has been the theme of my life for the last year and some change.
I Know EXACTLY how it feels when my stomach rises to my chest in defense when I hear something I don’t want to, or if I get offended by someone. It’s horrible…and I had always blamed the other person (while subconsciously acknowledging my own feelings of disempowerment in the presence of the situation).
I eventually asked myself this question…
“What would a mature person do…and how do I compare to them with the way I’m acting?”
That was humbling, but it showed me a thing or two about myself.
This isn’t easy work. And what’s an even bigger buzzkill is that when you realize all of this and feel like you’ve been enlightened to who and how you are…the time comes to have to practice this new way of being – over and over again. And that sucks too, even though you at that point realize it’s an opportunity to use the tools you’ve acquired. Otherwise they’re useless.
For me, it always goes back to remembering to be the witness/observer. I’m telling you, that’s been the key to all of this for me.
I have had many occasions (even since realizing that I am responsible for my own responses vs reactions) where I have had to practice this and it’s really tough at times. It helps to know that it’s always better to just admit that sometimes, we’re just wrong, but in admitting this, at least there’s some room for growth. Having to be right is what makes reacting so easy because our precious wounded ego has been threatened – and it sure doesn’t like that now does it?
It’s been a challenging process, but having some clarity at least let’s us know when we are the ones who need to fess up and be wrong, or if the other person does. And if it turns out that it’s them, when that happens, we’re willing to be somewhat gentle and non-confrontational because our true motive at that point is peace, resolution and open communication. Then if the other person can’t follow suit, we know it’s really their issue, not ours.
As usual, a thought provoking article Rachel.
Dana recently posted…The Magic of Creativity
Hey Dana,
I look forward to your comments.
That stomach rising to your chest, is my indicator to exercise extreme discipline. As I was learning this alarm bell and anger started to rise, I went through stages. I got anxious, went through being afraid, then I used patience and bit my tongue. So many different stages, it is a post on its own. A few victories and I knew what could work for me. So when you recognise rising of the chest, it is time to put into practice all your hard work.
When we don’t need to be right or feel the need to win an argument things start to get easier. I don’t know about you but I never really cared about winning with the people I cared about (however when I was younger I was a loose cannon). I was up for any argument. So what you wrote about being offended, I always felt justified when I felt offended.
Oh you are so right, it is the toughest work. Getting a grip on anger and managing our emotions, changing behaviour, applying new strategies when a conversation has the potential to turn into an argument – it gets busy. Have you noticed the more aware of yourself you become, the more time you get to make choices about which way you want to handle it. That is a very exciting and powerful awareness.
I agree Dana, being the observer makes us near untouchable in the emotional sparks department. Unfortunately there will always be times where we will have to practice self control at the most extreme end.
Say for instance, one person does something to annoy you, but you know it is their style, so as you stated you become gentle and non-confrontational with them. You accept them. Then one day you have not had enough sleep, you missed breakfast, your regular park was taken and this person just doing their thing, well you don’t have patience for today. Another choice is to be made right at that moment. This is when we could actually hurt and confuse the person. They have done nothing different.
We are unpredictable and there are so many contributing factors to accommodate. That is why I use that rising in the chest as my indicator, because regardless of what mood I am in, I know if I go in hard, I will be very displeased with myself later on. And I am over feeling that towards myself.
But Dana the hard work pays off. It is very rare I am telling myself off. And I used to do that so much. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
This is a great post Rachel!
When you said “It’s time to stop focusing on what the other person does. Start taking responsibility for your part only.” It took time for me to realize this.
I realized that I can’t control what a person does to get a reaction out of me but I can control my part. At first this was difficult for me because pride got in the way and I was sure going to strike back with hurtful words.
But when I grew spiritually, I no longer had the need to react to other people’s behavior or actions. I learned the term “Let go, let God” and that’s exactly what I do. 🙂
Thank you for writing such a wonderful post. I hope you’re having a great week.
Cori
Corina Ramos recently posted…How To Create A Logo For Your Blog Or Business
Hey Corina,
The biggest smile to your growth. We can all identify with the difficulty of managing our emotions initially. Because it is new. And our old behaviour generally wants to win, fire up, tell that person some dam home truths. As we are learning self control, we can even feel angry at ourselves for not doing what we are so good at. However after a couple of days when things have calmed, our new way of behaving is the best joy.
I call them dirty dancers. While I am managing my behaviour, I get to watch those who want to blow up, use passive aggressive behaviours and misrepresent themselves. If you can’t change someone and they are playing their game, what else is there to do. Sometimes you have to be apart without taking part. Hope that makes sense. Thanks for you comments Corina, sounds like you have fought a number of demons within yourself to come out smiling. Great work.
Rachel.
Oh and PS. I am thrilled by your Logo post.
I found out a co-worker talks about everyone behind their back. Now that I know this I just don’t talk to her at all any more.
Hey Beth,
It’s your first time to my site so welcome.
The gossip monger, very dangerous person indeed. But very sad as well. It is limited thinking, show signs of spite. Happy people do not spend their valuable time this way. Thanks for your comments Beth.
Rachel
Wow. So powerful and so true. It’s hard to realize that we have no power over anyone else but ourselves. This has given me a lot to think about and will really make me examine how I react in certain situations.
Shann Eva recently posted…Perfecting our Sleep Routine
Hey Shann,
Always enjoy your honesty. If we look it from our own point of view. People can talk us into situations. We may even go ahead with their request. Sometimes we are good with it and other times we do it because we felt obligated. But they can never change how you felt about it. Thanks for your comments.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
What a very thought-provoking post 🙂 I agree with you that there will always be situations where we must rein in our emotions rather than react to the situation. I have had to stop and think about this myself several times in the past (working on taking better control of my emotions daily)
Life DEFINATELY becomes much easier when we acknowledge that we do have the power to manage our own reactions 😉
Thanks for the awesome share!
Great post!
Joan Harrington recently posted…Do You Struggle To Make Sales Consistently?
Hey Joan,
We will never escape situations that raise the beast called anger within us. NEVER, so we may as well start learning to exercise control, it serves us better. We come away from harsh words full of glory and then defeated. Both are unbalanced. But like you said life is definitely much easier when we exercise control over our emotions. It also highlights we are managing the situation rather than just reacting. There is so much wonderful power in this. And we leave everything in tacked.
What a wonderful observation Joan. You have had to stop yourself several times. You are awakened to your moods, emotions and responses. That’s a great skill.
Thanks for you comments.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel,
Wonderful post! I agree with you that we don’t have control on our emotions when we are angry and arguing with someone. Most of the time we have to feel guilty for our tongue later.
I am also working on my anger. I feel that one of the cause of any issue is when ‘same words are considered as different meanings’ by others.
Thanks for sharing this post with us and have a great weekend and Happy Holidays! 🙂
Ana recently posted…Throwback 2015: 25 Girl Travel Bloggers & Their Favorite Destinations
Hey Ana,
We can use our emotions as an indicator that we may need to exercise control. When anger rises in me, I know it is a warning sign. I makes me alert and cautious. I know what is too follow if I lose control. Just like you mentioned later we feel guilt for our tongue. I never regret my words, only the tone that I use. I come across as far too harsh. I used to apologise for this. I no longer need to.
When we are in conversation and our words are interpreted differently from what we actually mean, we can explain ourselves. It is when we are angry the conversation moves to fast.
I smile when I read you are working on your anger. I know it is tough, but we are all worth more than our anger. Let me know if you want me to email you a few tools that I use. Thanks for comments, always good to see you Ana.
Rachel.
Hi Rachel
I have a friend who used to say that you make one a project when you try to change him.
You can control how you respond to your emotions but it is difficult to control others. So why do we lose control over our emotions.
You are so right that we need to exercise discipline on how we react to others because wrong words or action can come forth if our emotions are not in check.
Thanks for sharing. Take Care.
Hey Ikechi,
Welcome back.
I think if anyone is putting an effort into attempting to change someone, what they are saying is they don’t like who they are, nor accept them. It’s best if we offer information to them and what they do with that information is totally up to them.
It’s just like when people are in a relationship thinking everything will change once they are married. What a wake up call it must be to find that is not the case. We have friends who have annoying traits but their better qualities are what we focus on.
Controlling our emotions is worth taking hold of as they will be what make us feel for a life time. Thanks for your wonderful comments.
Rachel.