Are You the Reason Your Relationship is Over?

Kissing Couple - RelationshipDoes the heart weigh more when we are in love?  It feels so full of happiness that we think it may explode.  Radiating like a neon light. When our relationships are going well they have the power to lift us up, give us a leap in our walk, the sky seems bluer and life a mystical magical journey.

However, other times our relationships seem like nothing more than hard-work and we would rather criticise, abuse or avoid the other person rather than address the core issues.

The committed relationship.

Believe it or no; you struck a deal with your partner when you committed to each other.  Back in the day when verbal agreements and a hand shake were as good as signing your name to a contract, the deal was sealed.

When both parties make this promise; they offer to share their most valuable assets: – their heart and mind.  You have decided to become partners in crime.  Sharing these cherished yet vulnerable commodities is not only saying, ‘I love you’, but ‘I trust you with everything I have’.

A union of this magnitude has the power to make you rise above the trivial and make you see the world in a rainbow of colors.  It’s a big responsibility and one that should not be taken lightly, ever!

Because this joint venture also has the power to mentally reduce you to nothing, finding it hard to breath and fight another day.  You try to remember when this relationship started to become difficult, doing nothing more than decreasing your energy levels with negativity.  Wondering if you can ever come back from it.

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Gossip – Is a Backward Compliment.

Gossip

Gossip excludes individuals.

You glance around the room, to find those same three people looking at you and then laughing or whispering amongst themselves. The first time this happened you were left wounded and hurt. Then you reprimand yourself for thinking others would gossip about you.

Most days, you are faced with the same behaviour.  They have confirmed that you are a source of their chatter because they make comments about you within hearing distance.

They invest so much time and effort in you, that it leaves you feeling a number of raw emotions. Anger, paranoia, sadness and vulnerable.

You wonder what is so dam interesting about you; that can hold their attention for so long. This is what I call a backward compliment.

It is as if your presence places them under some magical spell – captivating them.

RELATED:  The Dangers of Gossip. (This post is a story about gossip – great antidote).

Having to attend school, the work place or any situation where this type of behaviour exists; is a lot of pressure initially. It can impact us for hours after the situation has taken place. This is understandable when we first encounter circumstances such as this.  We have no tools or experience with this sort of conduct.

When you first come across passive aggressive behaviour (hostile words said with a smile on their face), you may attempt to laugh it off; it’s uncomfortable but you are not so sure what is going on. You don’t want to create waves so you bare the brunt of an awkward situation. But it zaps all the positive energy from you.

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How Do You Respond To Challenging Behaviour?

How Do You Respond To Challenging Behaviour?We are surrounded by different personality types.  Some individuals we enjoy, while others we struggle to keep our emotions in check.  They seem to bring the worst out in us.  How do you respond to challenging behaviour?

“If you can cultivate the right attitude, your enemies are your best spiritual teachers because their presence provides you with the opportunity to enhance and develop tolerance, patience and understanding.”            Dalai Lama

A married couple reached out to a counsellor seeking guidance.  Their union had been strained for some time and they were seeking solutions.  The husband says, “if only my wife would change our lives would be better”.  The wife says, “our lives would be happier if only my husband changed”.

It’s an unrealistic expectation to demand that others alter their behaviour in order to suit our requirements.  Most people aren’t mind readers so it is near impossible for this to occur.  We maintain our equilibrium when we accept individuals for who they are, not how we expect them to be.

We maintain our equilibrium when we accept individuals for who they are, not how we expect them to be. Share on X

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