Addiction – The Slow Steps Through Recovery

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Nobody ever sets out to become an addict.

Think about your favorite TV series. You know when a new session begins, the characters names and the story line.

Then think about your favorite food. Sometimes you go all day looking forward to that meal your mum is cooking. Your taste buds can’t wait for the flavours and textures to have a party in your mouth.

Now think about your best friend. When anything good or bad happens – you immediately share the experience.

You can go without the TV, your favorite dish and speaking with your mates. Although you may feel disappointment or a sense of loss for a while but you know you will get over it.

The pull with addiction has similar features. A drug addict, knows where to score the best deals and the cost.

Before they get their little package they anticipate the transaction. Once an exchange of cash for goods is complete the consumer then scoots off to enjoy their purchase.

Not all these business transactions go according to plan. When something goes wrong an addict is quick to utilise other people and resources to get their fix.

It becomes a matter of urgency as there is a certain amount of time before the body starts to go into withdrawal. Some of the symptoms are muscle aches, insomnia, abdominal cramping, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting.

The psychological aspects are agitation, anxiety, irritability and worry.

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Affair – Is The Dirty Word In A Relationship.

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The group that hacked into the Ashley Madison dating site certainly bought data security into the open. It also propelled already damaged relationships into further chaos. Could you imagine being in a relationship going about your day to find that your partner on the data base of a website that practices extra martial affairs.

Obviously this partnership has had its issues, no relationship is without them, however now the spouse has to deal with adultery.

Or

You have been at your current job for five years. You and your colleague were employed on the same day. A strong and supportive relationship has developed over time.

On Mondays you openly talk about what you did on the weekends with your partner and kids. You have shared times when the home environment has hit a rocky patch. Your spouse’s know one another and on the odd occasion, all four of you have all gone out together.

Your home relationship takes a turn for the worst and you are both discussing this matter at a work event. It becomes obvious that you’re attracted to one another. This creates an opportunity to turn this relationship into more than just work mates.

The first scenario is pre-motivated with the intent to indulge in an extra marital affair. However the second situation is founded on trust and support. There is nothing sordid about the later. These people have known each other for years.

Yet no excuse stops the pain a spouse feels when they find out about an affair. Nothing eases the surprise, the betrayal or the heartache.

Nothing eases the pain, surprise, betrayal or heartache a spouse feels when finding out about an affair. Share on X

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Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Would.

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Have you ever felt hurt or defeated by that person who you were so charmed by but they ended up being a fraud. You listened closely and absorbed everything they said and did.

In fact, due to the information you gathered about them, they were your new best friend and boy were they fun. To find out down the track they were a sham. Nothing that came out of their mouth was the truth, everything they did was opposite to what they had to say.

Now you know better and you feel like crap. But should you? You can’t be responsible for the actions of others. How they represented themselves has absolutely nothing to do with you. How could it? You just met them.

Of course you want to believe people at face value. Why should you be questioning someone else’s motives? If you are evaluating whether a person is the ‘real deal’ then you are giving them too much time. But it also indicates that something does not add up and you don’t trust them.

Sure we’re going to be affected by people who lie with a smile on their face. But they damage their own reputation and credibility. It’s not your load to deal with. We have enough friends that give us what we need. We reach out for new connections because we are social beings.

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Are You the Reason Your Relationship is Over?

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Does the heart weigh more when we are in love? It feels so full of happiness that we think it may explode. Radiating like a neon light. When our relationships are going well they have the power to lift us up, give us a leap in our walk, the sky seems bluer and life a mystical magical journey.

However, other times our relationships seem like nothing more than hard-work and we would rather criticise, abuse or avoid the other person rather than address the core issues.

The committed relationship.

Believe it or no; you struck a deal with your partner when you committed to each other. Back in the day when verbal agreements and a hand shake were as good as signing your name to a contract, the deal was sealed.

When both parties make this promise; they offer to share their most valuable assets: – their heart and mind. You have decided to become partners in crime. Sharing these cherished yet vulnerable commodities is not only saying, ‘I love you’, but ‘I trust you with everything I have’.

A union of this magnitude has the power to make you rise above the trivial and make you see the world in a rainbow of colors. It’s a big responsibility and one that should not be taken lightly, ever!

Because this joint venture also has the power to mentally reduce you to nothing, finding it hard to breath and fight another day. You try to remember when this relationship started to become difficult, doing nothing more than decreasing your energy levels with negativity. Wondering if you can ever come back from it.

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Our Behaviour Requires Different Hats.

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We wear a different hat in each environment we circulate.

Did you know you’re a fashionista in your own right? Don’t sound so surprised. Were you aware you have a collection of hats?

Do I hear you say you don’t wear hats? Well I am inclined to disagree. Let me explain.

How many environments do you circulate in? There is home, extended family, friends, school or work. Then there are the hobbies we partake in and enjoy.

Would you agree that your behaviour differs when you are with family as opposed to with friends?

You don’t perform in the work place with the same mannerisms you would your mates. There are similarities but our attitudes are somewhat different.

When we are at home with our family we are able to relax and behave in accordance to the moods we feel. We have ourselves on display. The good, the bad and the ugly. We have grown up with these people and they have seen us in all our glory and at our worst.

Then we have the work hat. Our temperament and behaviour are very different to the hat we wear at home. We don’t slouch over the lounge, surfing TV channels yelling, “Mar, when is dinner going to be ready?” We present with an approachable professional attitude.

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Stare fear in the face and decide how to respond.

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We all have confident areas in our lives where we would not even consider second guessing ourselves, we do things with efficiency. We go about our daily agenda with little or no doubt about how we manage. No fear here.

How do we live fearlessly in every part of our life? The answer is, prepare and then walk into the cyclone of fear.

Fear is one of our most recognised built in alarm systems. It is one of the easiest of emotions that we can identify; without any confusion.

It gives us little choice but to address it. Because we feel it. If anything you could thank fear for being so dam obvious. But be aware that it can lead us astray and hold us back from life.

First, let’s acknowledge that we all have already faced fear. Even as a child you worried about the monsters living under your bed or concerns that kept you close by mum or dads side. But they were all overcome.

Fear has the capacity to hold you back and make you miserable. The one thing with fear is you can never avoid it because it is too strong a force for you to ignore. Knowing that you may as well do something with it.

The one thing with fear is you can never avoid it because it is too strong a force for you to ignore. Share on X

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Communication Styles You Don’t Want To Be Good At.

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We all know of a radio shock jock or a TV personality that is notorious for their obnoxious or confrontational outbursts. Some people are hired for this specific reason.

Imagine being offered a job because your known as a loud mouth. You have a reputation for making people defensive. You’re recognized as antagoniser. This identifies you as not having a communication filter.

Two schools of thought.

When an individual communicates without diplomacy it appears as if they don’t care about what others think of them. However, this very action highlights they don’t put themselves first.

When we respect ourselves; we are mindful about how we send out our verbal messages. We don’t need to be liked, we are not asking for acceptance or approval. We are saying – “I value who I am”. The consideration of others is not a sign of weakness. It’s a leadership quality, encouraging open dialogue.

The consideration of others is not a sign of weakness. It's a leadership quality, encouraging open dialogue. @thedigger0 Share on X

The type of communicator you are highlights what you feel about yourself, not what you feel about others. We understand this because we can only be responsible for our own words and actions.

What are we saying about ourselves if we feel the need to floor someone with unkind words or by teasing them (some refer to this as roasting) in front of others? To blurt out whatever comes to mind in an emotionally charged situation is not power, but lack of self-restraint.

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How to Market Your Product. The 33.33333333333333 % Rule.

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The 33.33333333333333 Rule.

It appears as if competition is everywhere. I’m about to show you how to be rid of this false assumption. Putting competition back in its place, right where it belongs. Presenting your product as if there is nothing quiet like it on the market.

The 33.33333333333333 % rule.

The marketing place is divided up into three parts of the population.

A ⅓ of the world are willing to purchase your product – they would have done so by now, had they known about it. They require very little persuasion. Your product is ideal for them.

This ⅓ of the population is where you are required to be at peak performance. They are not easily swayed by your brand. These people will only be tempted by your product if you present your best prepared marketing pitch. If you have a sloppy approach you will lose them completely.

When these sceptics start to question your authority on your product you are able to navigate every query with reasonable and honest answers. In these moments your abilities and beliefs will shine through naturally adding another characteristic to your product. “YOU”.

This ⅓ of the population are NOT your people. It may or may not be the product. It could be something they just don’t like in you. It is of little importance what it is, because they are just NOT your people.

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Dear Domestic Violence

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There will never be an acceptable excuse for raising your hand to another human being.

Dear Domestic Violence. You may not remember last night, but you only have to take one look at me and you will immediately recognise your handy work. All because you were in a drunken stupor.

I heard you bounce off the hallway walls as you stagger to our bedroom. It was only a matter of time before I have to face the harsh reality of your fist connecting with some part of my body. Instantly my sensors were on high alert. It were as if I was a captured animal awaiting my fate.

You whacked me, blow after blow for reasons unknown to myself. Once you physically exhausted yourself, the punches stop. Then you fall into a deep sleep; I survey my injuries until, I hear you snoring. It is only then I decide it is safe to remove myself from the floor.

I slowly start to attend to my wounds. I wipe away the blood, dress the cut on my lip and bandage my arm. I am house bound until these injuries begin to heal. No matter how many times you do this to me; my pride won’t allow me to be seen in public like this.

Before I lay down by your side, I stare at you for what seems like hours – my thoughts swing from questions on how to kill you; to how had I got myself into such a messy, desperate situation? I am cocooned in a cycle of your weak abuse and sorrow.

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Interview with Rohan Chaubey from Be Rohanlicious

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Rohan Chaubey

ROHANLICIOUS stands for being Real, Optimistic, Honest, Admirable, Nice, Leader, Inspirational, Creative, Insightful, Opportunistic, Unique and Selfless. Rohan encourages his readers to live up to these standards.

By now I gather you know who I am interviewing. My motivation for such a post was to utilize an amazing mind and highlight a work ethic that is an example to us all.

Rohan appears tirelessly around the internet. Presenting professional opinions and sharing his knowledge.

It seems Rohan has a wonderful ability to make everyone feel included and worthy of his time. However after reading some of his posts, his boundaries are clear and his kindness should never be mistaken as weakness.

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