Positive and Negative Reinforcement Create Patterned Behaviour.

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Have you ever met someone who tells a story, yet you feel they are not sharing the truth? It makes you feel a little cheated. Disappointed in them. If they’ve fibbed once you may wonder how many others times they’ve done the same thing. Lying is a learned patterned behaviour.

It differs from those who embellish their version of events. Wanting to spice up their tales keeping it interesting for the audience.

A perpetual liar requires the memory of an elephant. Having to remain alert at all times. Constantly watching what is flowing from their mouth.

One lie leads to another. If they don’t remain on top of it, they will be found out. Losing all creditability.

The process of patterned behaviour.

Say for instance, a parent is in the habit of bullying their child. The young person had to think on their toes otherwise they would be unfairly punished.

After a while the child masters the skill of lying. Sneaky and sly are a part of their forte. Becoming an expert at telling people what they want to hear.

It’s not a natural instinct. It became a part of a survival process the child had to inhabit to get around a powerful adult.

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Are You Avoiding Your Situation With Anti-Depressants?

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Life is a mixed bag of routines and unexpected surprises. There are times where every breath is a joy. We’re on top of the world, feeling grateful for who we are.

Then the unforeseen occurs throwing us into shock. Unbalancing our lives. Questioning our whole existence. The aftermath of such an event can send us plummeting into depression at a fast rate.

Doctors refer to this as Situational Depression. Also known as a condition called Adjustment Disorder. A traumatic event/s changes our circumstances. Our normal routines have been zapped with an upheaval.

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What a Tandem Sky Dive Taught Me About The Fear Factor.

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Facing a fear factor one step at a time, takes us to the cross roads of change and calculated risk. Opening up opportunity to step outside of our comfort zones.

Our confidence grows when we break through personal barriers. Experiences of this nature send us on emotional journeys. Acquainting ourselves with these sensations improves our awareness of how we operate internally.

I had arranged a tandem sky dive. The date was set. The three week countdown was on.

I was curious about how I managed challenging situations. My motivation was to familiarise myself with my own fear factors.

Every time I thought about the pending jump I would be bombarded with competing sensations.

Negotiating the Fear Factor.

My mind presented many excuses as to why I did not have to do such a silly thing like jump out of a plane. What did I have to prove to myself? I had done it once before, doing it again was pointless.

These questions would automatically send me to another stage of thinking.

The Fear Factor Thrill.

I felt brave challenging myself. I knew I was scared that feeling is never confusing. I was walking towards a fear factor that would make my heart race.

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Vipassana Meditation – There Is No Escaping Yourself.

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I didn’t know what I was searching for. Full of life, with no direction. Trying one experience after another. To land smack bang in the middle of a 10 day retreat called Vipassana Meditation.

Before embarking on this adventure, I read all the instructions of the course. One would have thought I had some idea of what I was installed for. Little was I to know how much of an impact this would have on me long into the future.

Would you believe it, if I said I had found the biggest rush of a life time? The Vipassana Meditation course would suit both the dare devil and the book worm?

We all know the adventurous type who jumps from a plane, scales walls, takes a leap of faith with a rope wrapped around their ankles and then jumps. They do whatever it takes to get their adrenaline running through their veins. Some of the risks are life threatening. One wrong calculation and death could be at their door step.

Then there are those who love to get lost in a good book. Enjoying page after page of romance, horror, thrillers or whatever takes their mind on a ride. Reading about life’s adventures through the eyes of a writer.

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How Do You Compartmentalise Your Life?

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Do you think the internet has reduced our concentration spans? It deliver’s many forms of stimulation. Jumping from one site to another. We don’t keep our attention in one place for too long. Yet there are times when we compartmentalise each and every task. Concentrating; not allowing anything to interrupt us until the job is done.

Distractions are everywhere. With our busy schedules we must exercise discipline over the mind.

Our lives revolve around two main environments. Home and school or how we earn a living. Yet it is far more complex. When we divide our time into compartments we get a better look at all the responsibilities.

Home: Relaxation, Entertainment, Rent or Mortgage, Bills, Repairs, Meals, Cleaning, Garden and/or Pool Maintenance

Family: Mother, Father, Siblings, Children, Partner, Friends, Expectations, Customs and Rituals, Celebrations

Work: Relationships, Deadlines, Pressures, Earnings, Meetings, Events

Activities: Expenses, Pleasures, Activity (E.g. Fishing or Scrapbooking)

This can be divided into smaller components.

Sibling: School, Homework, Friends, Activities, Illness, Appointments, Hobbies, Invitations.

Throughout the day we have various duties and responsibilities to attend to. Our attention is determined by how we have arranged our life. Each area gives us joy, pleasure, pressures, burdens and unhappiness.

Maintaining a single-mindedness becomes difficult when we are faced with a number of problems in different areas of our daily lives.

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It’s Time To Examine Ourselves When We React Whilst Communicating.

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It’s time to examine your emotions if you are feeling like this.

Creative people work towards having their master pieces viewed by an audience. With the intention of being informative or thought provoking. Generating emotions such as passion, anger, happiness and sadness or even sparking a fire. They want us to react. You may appreciate their work. It may bring up a fond or horrid memory from the past. If an artist has stirred something within you they get to take a bow.

Should we hold the same gratitude toward people who offend, insult or make us defensive? It’s not art when an individual rouses such deep feelings within us. However we could be thanking them in the long run for pointing out an area in ourselves that requires examination.

Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts. – Buddha

As humans we react so fast. One minute we are sitting around having a casual conversation, the next, voices are raised and a disagreement has erupted. When communication creates such disturbances, we can see this as an opportunity for growth.

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You’re High Maintenance When You Expect Too Much From Your Friends

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Do you have a friend that makes you feel like this?

From a young age we learn to socialise. We understand what a joy it is to be around other people. We can’t wait to see them and share good news. We get to lean on them through bad times. Mates will extend themselves and carry us when they see we need a shoulder to cry on. The support we offer and receive from one another creates strong bonds.

Yet friendships can be worn down from maltreatment. At times we forget and expect too much and give nothing in return. We may take it for granted that our buddies will be there for us no matter what. That’s a lot of pressure to put on someone else.

You’re high maintenance when you expect too much from your friends. What on earth does that mean?

None of us is perfect. Most of us understand that. We all tolerate and accept the idiosyncrasies in one another. Good traits outweigh those annoying habits.

We all tolerate and accept the idiosyncrasies in one another. Good traits outweigh those annoying habits. Share on X

Yet there are individuals in our circles that drag us down. Sometimes we are aware of what they do, other times we are unconscious to the fact.

It becomes obvious when you have to start cleaning up their mess.

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How Do You Steer the Dreamer, Complainer and Excuse Giver?

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We all have that friend or relative that continues to talk about the same thing, over and over. They either complain, make excuses or share their dreams. Nothing ever changes but they repeat themselves like it’s a whole new scenario.

Of course they have wonderful traits. Yet the main characteristic that sticks out is the one that keeps you at a distance. It’s asking too much to have to bare another round of what you have heard so many times before. You near cringe when you have to spend time with them.

How do you steer the dreamer, complainer and excuse giver?

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Are You A Copycat Or Do You Adopt Other Peoples Characteristics?

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Doesn’t this short clip illustrate how careful we have to be when raising children? They learn by watching everything we do. A child will adopt all our habits (behavioural patterns). The things we repeatedly say and do.

Apparently there was a public outcry over this community announcement. It had me wondering whether beer drinkers felt attacked over their regular intake. Is alcohol more important than their youngsters’ high probability of drinking in the future?

We are all aware that liquor is a major problem in the lives of some. A responsible adult having a couple of drinks of an evening is no cause for concern. However it does not mean your child won’t have alcohol issues. There is no way of predicting that.

Don’t you think it is a clever campaign? It illustrates the influence adults have on children’s future thoughts and actions.

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Interview with Ikechi Awazie from Be A Light To The World.

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Ikechi from Be A Light To The World.

When I think of Ikechi – I see a generous man who constantly encourages each and every one of us to acknowledge and grab hold of our own special talent. Qualities that only you possess.

I always picture Ikechi standing on a stage saying – ‘Hey you over there, why aren’t you sharing your gift?’ When you don’t share your flare others miss out.

See, You Got Talent: Harness to Make a Difference. In this post you will see Ikechi participating in a public speaking gig delivering the message to drop the self-doubt and embrace your special qualities.

When you visit Ikechi’s blog you will be left with no doubt that he specialises in showing us ways to manage life’s difficulties. And he demonstrates post after post that you don’t need to negotiate your life with mediocracy because you were born to Be a Light To The World.

When you are not being yourself and utilising your unique talents you are depriving maybe one person, maybe a community or maybe even the world of something that they may need right at this minute.

So let me present you with an interview with Ikechi, for some positive mental medicine and a healthy dose of encouragement and drive.

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