In my 40’s I…

The clock continued its usual rhythm as I strolled into my 40’s. There were no fireworks or band playing to celebrate.

I felt it was the age of letting go and having a few decades of experience behind me, I decided it was out with the old and in with the new. What did this fresh outlook on life mean to me?

I reflected on the past and made a plan for the future. And this is what I came up with.

Life can be as tough as two fighters, slogging it out for a win in the boxing ring. But harder without a “can do attitude” and the ability to bounce back on ones feet.

Being knocked to the ground is no cause for shame, it is how you get back up that shows your true character. I linger on the ground until the dust settles, but I never stay there for long periods of time because it gets boring; real fast.

Being knocked to the ground is no cause for shame, it is how you get back up that shows your true character. Share on X

Nobody escapes hitting rock bottom mentally, physical, emotionally or spiritually.  We can be swallowed up by the misery in our lives if we do not train our mind and have control over our thoughts.

With the bumps, dents and scars we carry from the past, we learn the value of each breath. I get all warm and fuzzy on the inside, when others complain and bitch about me as I have always thought I was gossip worthy.

These are the very people who manipulate situations to score points, in order to win arguments rather than sort things out. However once you are clear that you aren’t responsible for their behaviour – it is like the gods play their freedom music and the angels are in your realm doing a dance.

I give myself permission to fail and to challenge myself by learning new subjects. I do this with my own personal flare because history has shown me that my style works wonders on the outcomes.

I am an all or nothing sort of a person. For this, I feel most fortunate; as I could never understand doing something with only 50% enthusiasm. It just did not make sense.

I embrace being a flawed individual as it makes for great story telling and a fine laugh when the times right. I don’t ever miss an opportunity to show my good self in a light of the joker with crusty edges. I invite people over for tea and cake or beer with a plan to highlight the very terror of who I am.

I embrace being a flawed individual as it makes for great story telling and a fine laugh when the times right. Share on X

In the past I have attempted to reach a heavenly state of mind.  It was not long before I slipped from the rungs on that ladder.  It was when I realised that no matter how hard I tried there were some people that I did not like. This was more than okay because there are so many other’s to choose from.

While this may seem like rejection, I have always attempted to be gentle when letting people down. Because I too have been rejected and it only really hurt if I thought they mattered.

However time goes on and mental pain of any sort relieves itself. I always wished cliques was the name of a person so I could sock him or her one, for being so boringly obvious yet true.

But what life has taught me more than anything is that I am not looking for a hard time, but I refuse to be daunted by it. I have found there are situations where serious is required but I would prefer to see the fun in it all.

My mind is stronger and my body a little bit slower. However I would not trade that in for a younger model of myself, because I have never felt more secure with mind, body and soul. It is because of this very age, I am able to make changes, demand attention and say, “up yours” if it does not suit me. All three of these moods are acceptable.

I raided my wardrobe and threw out what was practical and kept all the clothes that made me feel good. I did not want to save my favourite dress or best undergarments for grand occasions – because every minute; is meant to be special.

Pining and pondering the past was put in the same rubbish bin as the clothes I will never appreciate or wear again. Because I did not value lingering in history with negativity.

Raw emotion had better use in the present. I get great satisfaction with knowing I got to walk down paths that could have broken me for life but proud that I am not unhinged by it.

I learnt that forgiveness is about letting yourself off the hook. Whether you want to let those who need forgiveness back in is entirely up to you, but do you want to? Forgiveness is so you don’t take resentment, hatred and bitterness along your ride. This information frees me to laugh loud when I want and cry hard, when sadness feels like escaping from my tear ducts.

I have accepted ageing as a passage of life, where vanity is not going to push me into Botox and face lifts. I wanted every wrinkle to count – even those around my mouth from smoking. I basically wanted to embrace life with the maturity and childlike behaviour that comes with age; because you can choose both.

Sassy became 40’s new recipe and the mix was incredible.

I took experience and mixed it with a dash of wisdom and I got a balanced calm with loud laughter.

I put sorrow from the past in a suitcase of lessons that is now my new bag of tricks. I carry it everywhere with proud awareness. It comes in handy for story-telling and passing over lessons.

I got me some fine second hand dresses that make me feel like a princess and I walk like one. Feeling good does not make me take myself seriously, it allows me to show off and laugh at myself even more, but when you have a pretty dress on it is better received.

I add a pinch of life, with spoonful’s of enthusiasm which is now called living.

I have more battles to fight, more enemies to rid, new friendships to embrace and acceptance from those who want to be around but annoy me and I call that a circle of fun.

If I mixed the lessons from my tears, stirred it with laughter and joy, withheld negativity and added the truth I would be baking you up a recipe and dishing you up a piece of me and my pie.